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COMPLETE WWE RAW REPORT: MATCHES ANNOUNCED FOR EXTREME RULES; BOOKER ALMOST UTTERS THOSE THREE WORDS; THE RYBACK TALKS; I SENSE A THEME WITH THESE NON-TITLE MATCHES; CM PUNK SPEAKS; BIG SIX MAN TAG MATCH NEXT WEEK ON RAW; DID FANDANGOING DANCE OVER THE SHARK?

By Richard Trionfo on 2013-04-15 23:00:29
Last week on Raw, Mark Henry had his chance to face John Cena for the WWE Title, but he failed by count out. Mark Henry got some revenge but so did Ryback. Ryback sent John Cena a message, but what will happen when he talks about his actions? What will CM Punk say when he is given the chance to explain his loss to the Undertaker?

We are in Greenville, South Carolina and your announcers are Michael ‘Something seems familiar but I can’t put my finger on it’ Cole, John ‘Hope you sold your gold before today’ Layfield and Jerry ‘Why Isn’t Mike Rotunda here tonight’ Lawler.

Match Number One: Randy Orton and Sheamus versus Big Show in a Remember This Match from Smackdown (apparently the announcers didn’t) Match

Orton and Sheamus discuss who will begin the match and it is Sheamus. They lock up and Show backs Sheamus into the corner and Show pie faces Sheamus. Sheamus with punches and a side head lock but Show with a belly-to-back suplex to get out of the hold. Sheamus punches Show but Show with a shot to the midsection. Sheamus with shoulders from the apron and Sheamus with the forearms across the chest. Sheamus drops Show on the top rope and then Sheamus hits the flying shoulder tackle to take Show down and Sheamus gets a near fall.

Show sends Sheamus over the top rope to the floor. Orton tries to get the crowd to give Sheamus the power to recover. Sheamus returns to the ring and Show with a head butt. Show with repeated chops across the chest. Show with the Final Cut and he gets a near fall but Orton gets involved.

Sheamus with punches but Show with a top wrist lock. Sheamus with punches and a forearm to the back. Show with a side slam. Show goes to the turnbuckles but Sheamus recovers and he gets Show on his shoulders and he hits an Electric Chair drop.

Orton tags in and he punches and kicks Show. Orton with punches out of the corner and he hits a clothesline followed by a drop kick. Orton looks around and Show goes to the apron. Orton with a boot to the head and it is time for a Super IEDDT and he hits it. Orton looks around again and he sets for the RKO but Show pushes him away and Show grabs Orton. Sheamus with a Brogue Kick to Show and Orton with an RKO for the three count.

Winners: Randy Orton and Sheamus

We take a look at Triple H from Smackdown when 3MB tri-cornered Triple H only to be upstaged by the originals.

Josh Mathews is with 3MB in the back and Heath says that they are here to call out The Shield. Heath says that they are going to the ring to call out the Shield.

We go to commercial.

We are back and 3MB are in the ring and Heath Slater has something to say. Last week on Smackdown, the greatest rock band in WWE history was going to make an example out of Triple H, but no . . . that other three man cover band, the Shield, tried to steal their spotlight.

Jinder says that they are the only three man band.

Drew says that before they send the Shield on a highway to hell, they better come out and give them a handwritten apology.

Instead of the Shield, Brock Lesnar makes his way onto the stage and he does the Brock Bounce.

Brock sends Slater to the floor and then he takes care of McIntyre before hitting an overhead belly-to-belly suplex on Mahal. Brock with an F-5 to Drew. Slater tries to escape but he runs into a clothesline from Lesnar on the floor. Brock gives Slater an F-5 on the ringside barrier. Brock is not done with Slater and Paul Heyman tries to tell Brock to stop.

The crowd wants Brock to hurt Slater some more and he likes the idea. Paul tells Brock not to listen to the fans.

Paul says that he told us last week that his client is ready for a fight. The fight that his client wants and has demonstrated to everyone is against Triple H. On April 7, 2013, Triple H did what no man has ever done before. Paul apologizes before reminding us that Triple H knocked out Brock Lesnar. That means that Triple H is one hell of a man. It makes him a fighter and a warrior worthy of admiration. Paul says that he would look Hunter in the eye, shake his hand, and tell him that he respects him for what he did at Wrestlemania.

Paul says that Brock Lesnar does not share his opinion of Triple H. We have a problem and that is that Triple H’s hollow victory evens up the score at one and one. There can only be one dominant Alpha Male in the WWE Universe.

There is an event called EXTREME RULES. Paul says that him and his client propose a match where an unconscious man will be shown no mercy and will be victimized. It is time to get barbaric. It is time for a match when skin gets ripped away from bones. It is time to get primal. It is time to get uncensored, ruthless, and raw. It is time to get EXTREME.

Paul says that they are proposing a steel cage match. Since Triple H will be down for that so he has two words for him . . . Challenge Issued.

We go to commercial with Antonio Cesaro and Kofi Kingston walking in the back (will they remember they had a match on Smackdown?)

We are back and Antonio Cesaro has something to say. He says it in yodeling form.

Match Number Two: Antonio Cesaro versus Kofi Kingston for the United States Championship

They lock up and Kofi with a rollup for a near fall. Kofi with punches but Cesaro backs into the corner. They lock up and Kofi with a side head lock and Cesaro with a shoulder tackle. Kofi with a back slide for a near fall. Kofi with an Irish whip but he misses a splash into the corner. Cesaro with an Irish whip and European uppercut.

Cesaro with a dead lift side salto and he gets a near fall. Cesaro with a reverse chin lock. Kofi tries for a rollup but Cesaro picks him up. Kofi with chops and a drop kick followed by a leaping clothesline. Kofi with the Boom Drop and he sets for Trouble in Paradise but Cesaro moves and Cesaro hits Swiss Death but only get a near fall.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Cesaro is in control of the match and he runs his laces across Kofi’s face. Cesaro with a clothesline to Kofi and then he pie faces Kofi. Kofi tries for SOS but Cesaro with a head butt. Cesaro gets a near fall. Cesaro sends Kofi into the corner but Kofi with SOS but Cesaro gets his hand on the rope to stop the count.

Cesaro with a back elbow but Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise and Cesaro falls to the floor. Kofi struggles to get Cesaro back into the ring. The time to get Cesaro into the ring allows Cesaro to kick out.

Kofi goes up top for a cross body but Cesaro catches Kofi and hits a back breaker for a near fall. Cesaro waits for Kofi to get up and Cesaro charges into the corner and is met with a pendulum kick. Kofi tries for a springboard move but Cesaro catches him. Kofi gets a near fall with a sunset flip. Cesaro misses a double stomp and they go back and forth until Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise and he gets the three count.

Winner: Kofi Kingston

After the match, Josh Mathews is in the ring with the new United States Champion. Kofi says that he just brought the United States Championship home.

We go to commercial.

We are back and John, Jerry, and Michael talk about cashing in the Money in the Bank briefcase. We take a look back at last week’s Raw when the tradition that was stopped by John Cena resumed.

Dolph Ziggler, AJ Lee, and Big E Langston walk in the back as we go to commercial.

We are back and the new World Champion makes his way to the ring and he is accompanied to the ring by Big E Langston and AJ Lee.

Dolph thanks AJ and he says that he successfully cashed in his Money in the Bank briefcase and he became the new World Champion. It was the single greatest moment in the history of Monday Night Raw. It was all because of him. Because of him. Some might say, how could you possibly top that?

He says it is easy. There has never been a World Champion as charismatic or flamboyant as him. It is time to face facts that he is just too good. Some may boo but he does not care. He doesn’t care.

Dolph says that when you are watching an NFL game and someone scores a touchdown, they are showing off. That is what you do when you are better than everyone else. He backs it up every single night. When you are as good as him, perks come with the job. Fame and fortune follows, and so does this . . . he kisses AJ.

Dolph says that no one will ever be as good as him.

Alberto Del Rio’s music plays and he makes his way to the ring with Ricardo Rodriguez who is on crutches.

Alberto says last week he congratulated Dolph and said that when the moment was right, he is going to invoke his rematch clause. He wants his rematch in Greenville and he wants it right now.

Dolph says that he is proud that Alberto hobbled his way to the ring . . .

Dolph is interrupted by Vickie Guerrero and her excuse mes. She says that Alberto gets his rematch and the match happens now.

Match Number Three: Alberto Del Rio versus Dolph Ziggler for the World Title

Before the match can start, Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger come out. Zeb says that there would not be a Money in the Bank cash in or a Dolph Ziggler World Champion without Jack Swagger. He is a real champion and a real American. Dolph won only because of what Jack did. He says that Dolph doesn’t deserve to be champion and Albert does not deserve another shot.

Del Rio attacks Swagger and Jack is sent to the floor. While Del Rio stares down Langston, Swagger takes Del Rio down and he sends Del Rio’s leg into the ring post. Swagger attacks Del Rio and he applies the ankle lock.

Daniel Bryan and Kane walk to the ring as we go to commercial.

Coverage continues on next page.


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