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COMPLETE WWE RAW REPORT: LESS THAN A WEEK UNTIL WRESTLEMANIA; ROCK, CENA, MICHAELS, HHH, AND TAKER TALK; THE SHIELD SEE THROUGH SHEAMUS, ORTON, AND SHOW; CESARO/JERICHO; ZIGGLER/BRYAN; AND YOUR TOUTS

By Richard Trionfo on 2013-04-01 23:01:16

At this time next week, we will be able to talk about the build to Wrestlemania 30 in New Orleans. Tonight, it is time for the final full show dedicated to pushing the fans towards buying Wrestlemania 29. What new developments will we see on tonight’s show? Will any new matches be announced? Will we get any memorable moments leading into the Super Bowl of Sports Entertainment?

We are in Washington, D.C. and your announcers are Michael ‘The Capitals win the Stanley Cup’ Cole, John ‘Congress agrees on something’ Layfield, and Jerry ‘Billy Kilmer is the new Redskins quarterback’ Lawler.

John Cena makes his way to the ring and he has something to say. John looks around and he thinks about how half the crowd is cheering for him while the other half is booing him. John says that he stands in the middle of a house divided. It is ironic that they are in Washington D.C., the home of the Democrats and Republicans. The arena tonight is filled with Cenacrats and Rockpublicans with all eyes focused on this Sunday and Wrestlemania.

It is no locker room secret that Dwayne Johnson and him do not like each other. Cena says that he respects the Rock for the superstar that he is and the fact that he can be called WWE Champion. Last year, he would have made some rude, over the line comment about the Rock and he would question Rock’s allegiance to the WWE. Then Rock would come to the ring and insult his family and then throw his shirt in a bowl of Fruity Pebbles.

It is much more because Rock is the current WWE Champion. He has done everything that he said he would do and he conquered ‘it’. John says that he will not waste his time talking about Dwayne’s Johnson.

There is a portion of him that feels the way the people do. He will be facing the greatest WWE Champion of all time on Sunday. John says that means a victory for him is impossible? Just like winning the Royal Rumble and defeating CM Punk for a shot at Wrestlemania was impossible. He says that the Rock’s time is up and his time is now.

On Sunday, they might get a moment they thought was not possible in their lifetime. Rock says that he can cope with failure. Cena says this failure will not be like his previous failure. Cena says that he had to deal with his loss last year for an entire year. Cena says that he had to sit back and watch the Rock usher in The People’s Era.

Cena says that he had to sit behind a curtain and debut a new WWE Championship. It was a title defined for Rock and his legacy.

Rock was able to shove his size 13 and shove it straight in his mouth.

On Sunday, we get absolute redemption. He will dominate 2013. In Rock’s first defense of his precious WWE Championship, the Rock will lose it.

The People’s Era will remain. The WWE Universe will remain. The mighty Rock will experience failure. Rock will have to wake up every day and talk to the millions and (cue crowd) millions. He will have to deal with the failure of a title intended for him to be defended by John Cena. Cena will not replace the new championship. He will hold it as a symbol as a symbol that he is better than the Rock.

Sunday is Wrestlemania. He will shock the world and even the Rock will know that it was made for him, but the Champ is Here.

Michael asks Jerry who will win the Rock/Cena match and it is being Touted. Jerry says that the Rock will win.

Big Show, Sheamus, and Big Show walk in the back as we go to commercial.

 

Match Number One: Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal, and Drew McIntyre versus Big Show, Randy Orton, and Sheamus

Slater and Orton start things off and Slater with a kick. Slater floats over but Orton with a punch and suplex. Sheamus tags in and Orton with a European uppercut and Sheamus with a slingshot shoulder tackle. Sheamus with an Irish whip but Slater with an elbow and punch. Slater with a kick and Drew is tagged in.

Drew punches Sheamus but Sheamus punches back. Sheamus with a power slam and Drew gets into the ropes. Sheamus hits Slater on the apron and Drew with a drop kick from the turnbuckles and Mahal tags in. Mahal kicks Sheamus and he hits a neck breaker and gets a near fall>

Mahal with knees and a cravate. Slater tags in and he punches and kicks Sheamus in the corner. Slater with jabs to Sheamus but Sheamus with a uranage back breaker and both men are down. Show tags in and he clotheslines Mahal a few times. Show with an Irish whip and then he hits a spear. He grabs Slater by the throat as well as Drew. Orton with an RKO to Slater and Sheamus with a Brogue Kick to Drew. Show knocks out Mahal and gets the three count.

Winners: Randy Orton, Sheamus, and Big Show

 

The Shield’s music plays and they make their way down the aisle and they come together to the ring. They stop halfway down the aisle.

Dean congratulates them on their big victory. He tells them to enjoy their victory because come Sunday, the Shield will not leave them with anything to celebrate. They will be flat on their backs looking at the sky wondering where it went wrong.

Seth congratulates them for finally managing to convince themselves and the ignorant and foolhardy people that they are on the same page. Unfortunately, justice never lies. They know the truth.

Roman says that the truth is that they are not a team. They are not on the same page. These people want to believe in them, but their team is phony. The whole world will believe in the Shield.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Jerry Lawler mentions that Zeb Colter will be wrestling Alberto Del Rio tonight.

We go to comments from Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger from Washington D.C. He says that like Ricardo’s ankle, this country is broken. He knows a man who can fix it. That man is Jack Swagger. Great empires have crumbled because the people became weak. The borders have been weakened and resources have been exploited. Everyone knows why.

It is time to stand up and say no more. In six days, Wrestlemania, real change is coming. Not only will he break the champ’s ankle, he will break the spirits of everyone who has tried to duck the American dream. Alberto will experience change as a Real American stands over Alberto as the World Champion. If you do not like that, you do not deserve to be a Real American.

Matt Striker is in the interview area with Alberto Del Rio. Matt asks Alberto about Jack’s comments. Alberto says that America is the land of opportunity. The Constitution grants freedom of speech. Alberto says that if he does not like what Swagger says, he can do something about it at Wrestlemania. Tonight, he will take care of Jumanji guy. He calls Zeb a piñata that he is about to break.

Match Number Two: Daniel Bryan (with Kane) versus Dolph Ziggler (with AJ Lee and Big E Langston)

 

They lock up and Bryan works on the wrist. Ziggler stomps on the foot and he works on the wrist. Ziggler with an elbow to Bryan’s arm and then he applies a chin lock. Bryan with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. Bryan catches Ziggler on a leap frog attempt and Bryan catapults Ziggler into the turnbuckles. Bryan with kicks of no to Ziggler.

Bryan with a forearm to the head. Ziggler with an Irish whip but Bryan flips out of the corner and then he hits a flying clothesline. Ziggler gets to the ropes to prevent Bryan from applying the No Lock. Bryan takes Ziggler to the mat and he sets for a surfboard but he decides to drive Ziggler’s knees into the mat instead.

Ziggler with a drop kick to the head and he gets a near fall. Ziggler punches Bryan in the head and then he kicks Bryan and punches him some more. Ziggler runs Bryan’s face across the top rope. Ziggler misses a charge into the corner and Bryan with a Tarantula.

Langston and Bryan stare each other down and Kane thinks about helping his partner but he is too far away. Ziggler with a Fameasser when Bryan returns to the ring and he gets a near fall as we go to commercial.

We are back and Ziggler with a reverse chin lock and a headstand to add more pressure. Bryan gets to his feet and he backs Ziggler into the corner and escapes with an arm drag. Bryan with a kick to a charging Ziggler. Bryan with more kicks of no. Ziggler with a kick of his own but Ziggler misses a Stinger Splash.

Bryan returns to the kicks of no. Bryan misses a round kick and Ziggler tries for an O’Connor Roll but Bryan holds on to the top rope and he connects with a buzzsaw kick. Bryan goes up top but he misses a diving head butt when Ziggler moves out of the way. Ziggler with a kick and a sleeper. Bryan escapes and he applies a sleeper of his own.

Ziggler falls back and gets out of the hold. Bryan tries for the No Lock but Ziggler counters with a jackknife cover and Bryan bridges out. Bryan and Ziggler both go for cross bodies and both men go down.

AJ skips around Kane and while Kane is distracted Langston takes care of Kane with a running body block. Bryan with a baseball slide to Langston. Ziggler with a rollup and he gets the three count.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

 

After the match, Langston runs over Bryan and then he hits the Big Ending.

Kane gets into the ring and he punches Ziggler and Langston. Kane grabs Langston by the throat but Langston escapes and he hits the Big Ending on Kane.

AJ gives Big E and Dolph the title belts.

We go to commercial.

We are back with the Slam of the Week: Brock Lesnar breaking Shawn Michaels’ arm last August.

Shawn Michaels makes his way to the ring and he has something to say.

Shawn says that you didn’t think they would have Wrestlemania without Mr. Wrestlemania. He says that he loves this time of year. The Road to Wrestlemania is ramping up. We have Jack Swagger versus Alberto Del Rio. We have CM Punk versus the Undertaker. And in the main event, we have John Cena versus The Rock.

Shawn says that is not why he is here. There is one match that he is particularly interested in. The match between Brock Lesnar and his best friend Triple H. It hits close to home. There is a ton of history between Brock and Hunter. Shawn says that him and his arm are part of that history. When this became a situation where Triple H put his career on the line, that is when he got concerned. He has a lot of doubts and a lot of questions.

Triple H makes his way to the ring but there is no GameFountain. There is a hug.

Hunter says before Shawn goes to far with this, he knows what he is doing.

Shawn tells Hunter that he does not think that Hunter knows what he is doing. Shawn says that Hunter is under the impression that their things are similar. They could not be any different. Shawn says that when his career was on the line, he was facing a man who he has the utmost respect for. Shawn says that he knew that his opponent felt the same way. Shawn says that he was heartbroken when he lost and his opponent felt the same way. Shawn says that his opponent did not brag about ending Shawn’s career.

Hunter’s opponent does not have an ounce of respect for Hunter, Shawn, the WWE Universe or anyone else. Shawn says that he knows that Hunter does not respect Brock. Brock does it for money and to hurt people. Shawn says that he used to think that this job was his life. Shawn says that was until he met Hunter because Hunter cares about this more than Shawn ever did. Hunter made this job his life. Hunter is putting his life on the line.

Hunter says that he gets it. Hunter tells Shawn that he loves him like a brother, but he will not be able to talk him out of the match.

Shawn says that he is here to tell Hunter that he better kick Brock Lesnar’s ass. Shawn says that he will be in Hunter’s corner to watch him do it.

Shawn talks about ‘two words’ but before he can say them, Brock Lesnar’s music plays and he bounces on the stage and makes his way down the ramp but Paul tries to hold Brock back.

Paul Heyman says that his client has two words for Hunter but he thinks they are different words than Shawn and Hunter are looking for.

Paul wants to lay this on the line. His client, Brock Lesnar, whether you like it or not, will beat Triple H into retirement on Sunday at Wrestlemania. Paul says that it might disappoint everyone, but that is the point of them being here tonight. Hunter will have to learn to live with all of that disappointment. Triple H will disappoint his father in law, the Chairman of the Board because Hunter will not be able to fight Vince’s battles any more. Hunter will disappoint the Board because he won’t be able to do his job. Hunter will disappoint his wife, but he is probably used to that. Hunter will disappoint Shawn Michaels.

Paul wants to know if Shawn wants to be this close to Triple H when Brock beats Hunter down again and maybe . . . possibly breaks his arm again.

Paul says that they fight with emotion and that is why Shawn was forced to retire. Paul says that his client picked this fight and Hunter answered the call. Hunter should have walked away just like Shawn did when he lost at Wrestlemania. Hunter will not be able to walk away. Hunter will crawl away with his tail between his legs, a beaten, battered, emasculated retiree who let down the WWE. Hunter never beat Brock Lesnar. The same Brock Lesnar who has caused the Cerebral Assassin to commit career suicide.

We go to commercial.

 

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