Hour two started with Cole and Lawler talking about how they have been in Phoenix all weekend (guess that is why King missed Smackdown). They showed footage from the fanfests and Make A Wish. Very cool stuff, looked like a fun weekend.
Damn, next up is The Royal Rumble. Punk vs. Rock is closing, if you smell......
Ziggler came out and did a promo talking about his greatness. At the end, he will be the winner. Since Mike is doing play by play, I will chime in when warranted. Ziggler says he doesn't care who number two is, just send him out. HOLY SHIZZZZZZZZZZ! It's CHRIS JERICHO. FIRETRUCKING A! I didn't know and I am glad I didn't! ... Jericho looked really good and the fans chanted You Still Got It. ... Cody Rhodes came in next so the heels worked him over.
Kofi came out at number four to even the odds. Santino was number five. So we have two heels, two faces and whatever Santino is. He came right in and put all four guys on the apron. Not the floor. So he put on the Cobra and got tossed. At least it wasn't a second like it was before. Drew Mac came out next. Will he last as long as Santino? Yep, he did. ... Jericho is a working machine by the way. ... Titus is next. He has some real potential. ... Jericho took Drew out when he dopily went to the apron on his own. The fans are loudly chanting Y2J. ... Next out, Surprise number two, GOLDUST! On his way to see his brother. Very cool.
Dust went right after his brother, which was really fun to watch. Unlike last year, the beginning of the Rumble has been kick ass so far this year. Kudos to WWE. ... Next out is David Otunga. He shouldn't last long. ... Heath Slater is next. Probably not long for this one either. It may be "after a hot start it's time to bring it down a bit" time. And then Sheamus. Good pop for him. He cleared Titus and Otunga. Here comes Tensai don't Rentsai. Brodus is next. He comes off really well in non-WWE interviews. They should tap that. ... Cody and Goldust were fighting and Dust finally got eliminated. ... Rey Rey is next. Lay low little man. ... Number 15 is Darren Cena. As he was coming in, a group ganged up to get rid of Brodus. Kofi then took out Rentsai. Kofi got tossed but landed on Rentsai. He ended up on the announce table. He hasn't touched the floor yet. He used JBL's chair to hop back and never touched the flor. Cool. Bo Dallas came out, Darren Cena got eliminated. Cody then waxed Kofi, but he got his moment. ... Holy crap, next up is Las Vegas' own, The Godfather! JBL said this is great, and he was right. Godfather never got in the ring but who cares, he is leaving with Hos! This has been great so far!
Wade Barrett came out at number 18, followed by Super Poopy himself, John Cena and number 19. All of the heels waited for him and beat him up when he came in. For a second. Then Super Poopy threw out Slater and Rhodes right away. Then went for Jericho. If that happened I would have driven to Phoenix and slapped him myself. Ziggler broke it up so I can stay in Vegas. ... Damien Sandow came in at 20. No pop. They killed him earlier in the show. ... Barrett dusted Rey. Ziggler and Jericho have been in over a half hour. Bryan came in at number 21 to a huge YES chant from the crowd. ... Cesaro is the next guy to do double duty at 22. ... Fans are doing a lot of love/hate chants for Cena. ... The no so great Khali came in at 23. Hopefully they gang up on his ass and get him our. No, he is doing damage. There are some boos. ... He is wrong because his partner will see him, Kane is number 24. 14 Rumbles in a row for him, damn, impressive.
Coming in at number 25 is Zack Ryder. Uh, I don't see him lasting. ... Khali got eliminated right before Bryan eliminated Kane. Bryan then got tossed onto Kane. Bryan begged him to not let his feet hit the floor. Kane said, uh no. Dropped his partner on the floor so they have more to argue about. ... 26 is Randy Orton. He tosses Zack, of course. ... The announcers have been better, save JBL not listening when Cole called Kane a goat. But Cole just told us to go watch Touts when we paid to watch this show. Dope. ... Cena dusts Cesaro, of course. ... Jinder Mahal is in at 27. ... Miz is 28. He attacked Cesaro on the way to the ring. They said he injured his ankle on the pre-show match. I believe it.
At number 29 is Sin Cara. ... Holy crap, Bo Dallas just eliminated Wade Barrett. I think we so Bo on Smackdown this week. Barrett came back and eliminated Dallas a minute later. He just bull hammered him on the floor. Oh yeah, we will see him on TV now. ... Here comes number 30. Ryback time. Now it's party time. Jericho is still flying around like a maniac. Well, until Ziggler eliminated him. We are down to five. Jericho was a beast, especially at his age. Almost 48 minutes.
We are down to Orton, Ziggler, Sheamus, Cena and Ryback. Orton just hit RKOs on Cena and Sheamus but missed on Ryback and got tossed. They are all over the place now. Sheamus Brogue Kicked Dolph off of the apron after almost 50 minutes. No upset for him. It's down to Sheamus, Cena and Ryback. Only one guy I don't want to win, and he will. Damn. ... Cena and Sheamus decide to work together on Ryback. There are audible boos. I think many fans feel like I do about Super Poopy winning. Hope Vince hears it and calls an audible, well if his hearing is still good anyway. ... This is every man for himself time. Sheamus powered out of ShellShock and hit White Noise! I am rooting, I know in vein, for Sheamus. He is loading up for the Brogue Kick for Ryback, took too long and missed. I knew it. Damn. Sheamus was in over 37 minutes. It's down to buzz kill and Ryback. Satan will win and put a bad stink on an otherwise fantastic Rumble. Satan just did the STFU, and those last two letters are how I feel about him winning. He is so strong, you know, he can lift a limp Ryback and throw him out. No, please no. No it was! Ryback was playing possum and powered out but instead. It didn't help because Super Poopy is the baddest man to ever walk the planet. Down goes Ryback. Cena is in your Mania main event. I hope he has to walk to the ring in the rain, I really do. ... I knew the finish was coming and hoped against hope Vince wouldn't screw the pooch. Well, let's put it this way, the pooch could be pregnant now. With that said, the rest of the Rumble was awesome. Satan winning sucked, but the rest was great.
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