This week, Raw is in Tampa, Florida and your announcers are Jerry ‘I wrestled outside this building’ Lawler and Michael ‘Smells like a circus’ Cole.
John Cena makes his way to the ring. While he gets in the ring, we see Dolph and AJ get showered with love by John Cena at the end of Raw.
John says that was a craptacular end to 2012, but it is a great way to start off 2013. There are some special folks in the crowd and this is a special night. There will be a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match with CM Punk defending his title against Ryback. Cena says that it feels like electricity. The most electrifying man in all of entertainment returns tonight. The Rock will be back.
Cena says that we are on the Road to Wrestlemania. The Royal Rumble is in three weeks. The winner of that match gets into the main event of Wrestlemania.
John is interrupted by Dolph Ziggler and he is joined by AJ Lee and Big E Langston. Dolph says that they might have come to see Cena or the Rock, but they will remember the hottest superstar in the WWE, Dolph Ziggler.
AJ wants to know if this is what makes him feel better and allows him to sleep at night. That joke last week wasn’t enough? What about lying to her and playing with her emotions? AJ says that she couldn’t believe that she chose to lose her job over Cena. She calls John a petty, pathetic, and small man. She calls him a very small man.
Cena says that AJ’s sweet little innocent self made her first sixth grade weiner joke.
Cena says that AJ can knock that off her bucket list. Cena wants a wave. Cena says that it is time for his weiner joke. He quotes Andrew Clay and starts the Nantucket limerick but Ziggler stops him.
Dolph says that Cena always laughs off a loss and hopes that it will go away. He is not going away. Dolph says that he is officially in the Royal Rumble. He tells John he cannot hide any more. His primary goal is to not let Cena win.
Cena says that he wishes everyone luck. He says that 2013 will be looking up and then he tells Dolph and AJ to look out and they think Cena might do something. Did they think he would drop poop on them again. Cena says that AJ is rubbing off on Dolph and Big E.
Cena says that he is done talking and he wants to fight Dolph Ziggler right now.
Langston tells Cena that Dolph is not his only problem. Langston says that it is on.
We go to commercial.
Match Number One: John Cena versus Dolph Ziggler (with Big E Langston and AJ Lee)
Cena with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. They lock up and Ziggler with a side head lock take down. Cena with a hip toss and arm drag into an arm bar. Ziggler with kicks and punches in the corner and the referee warns him. Ziggler with punches to the ribs.
Ziggler with an elbow to the top of the head and then he punches Cena in the corner. Ziggler with a kick and then he does sit ups. Cena with a rollup to take advantage of the situation. Cena with punches followed by an Irish whip and bulldog for a near fall.
Cena with a front face lock. Cena with a delayed vertical suplex and Cena gets a near fall. Ziggler with a kick to the chest and then kicks in the corner followed by a splash into the corner for a near fall. Ziggler punches Cena and then he hits a drop kick and gets a near fall.
Ziggler with a punch to Cena and he shuffles around the ring. Ziggler tries for a drop kick but Cena blocks it and he catapults Ziggler into the turnbuckles. Ziggler with an elbow and Langston punches Cena from the apron while the referee was distracted.
Ziggler gets a near fall and we go to commercial.
We are back and Ziggler with a reverse chin lock. Ziggler with a headstand while applying the chin lock and Ziggler with a bridge. Cena gets Ziggler on his back and Cena with a snap mare. Cena with a belly-to-belly suplex and both men are down. AJ gets on the apron and distracts the referee while Ziggler hits a drop kick and gets a near fall.
Ziggler with a series of elbow drops and he finishes with a leaping elbow drop for a near fall. Ziggler chokes Cena in the ropes and while Ziggler talks to the referee, AJ gets on the apron and slaps Cena. The referee did get a chance to see it and the referee sends AJ and Langston to the back.
Ziggler argues with the referee and then he turns around and Cena with two flying shoulder tackles followed by the Blue Thunder Bomb and then it is time for the Five Knuckle Shuffle but Ziggler with a kick followed by the Fameasser but Cena kicks out.
Ziggler misses a splash into the corner and Cena with another Blue Thunder Bomb. Cena with the Five Knuckle Shuffle and he gets Ziggler on his shoulders but Ziggler escapes and hits a Zig Zag but Cena kicks out.
Ziggler misses a superkick and Cena tries for the STF. Ziggler escapes and he hits a DDT and gets a near fall. Ziggler goes up top for a cross body but Cena catches Ziggler and rolls through to get Ziggler on his shoulders. Ziggler gets to his feet and hits a super kick and gets a near fall.
Ziggler punches Cena and the referee warns him. Cena with a punch to the midsection but Ziggler punches back. They go back and forth and Cena gets the advantage. Ziggler applies the sleeper. Cena gets a second wind and he gets Ziggler off his back but Ziggler hits the referee and the referee goes to the floor.
Cena with a drop toe hold and STF to Ziggler. Langston comes to the ring and he attacks Cena and hits the Big Ending. Langston puts Ziggler on top of Cena and there is no referee. We have a second referee but Cena is able to kick out. Cena with an Attitude Adjustment and he gets the three count.
Winner: John Cena
Match Number Two: Eve Torres versus Kaitlyn for the Divas Title
They lock up and Kaitlyn pushes Eve to the ropes. They lock up again and Eve with a side head lock and take down. Kaitlyn with a head scissors but Eve escapes. Eve works on the leg. Kaitlyn kicks Eve away and she punches Eve. The referee holds Kaitlyn back because Kaitlyn’s boot is untied.
Eve with a kick and she punches Kaitlyn. Eve kicks Kaitlyn in the corner. Eve chokes Kaitlyn in the corner. Eve with a cravate over the shoulder followed by a forearm to the back. Kaitlyn with a side slam. Kaitlyn with an inverted DDT for a near fall.
Kaitlyn with a kick and then she gets Eve on her shoulders but Eve escapes and goes to the floor. Kaitlyn sends Eve back into the ring but Eve gets back to the floor. Kaitlyn follows Eve to the floor and Eve goes into the crowd. The referee makes the ten count.
Winner: Kaitlyn (by count out)
We go to commercial.
We are back and remember that next week is the 20th anniversary episode of Raw.
Santino Marella is in the locker room saying that he enjoyed watching Ricky Steamboat wrestling Randy Savage at Wrestlemania III. Ricky says that was a great match. Santino points out that he was a former Intercontinental champion.
Wade interrupts Santino and Ricky and calls them a has been and a never was. Now the Intercontinental Title means something again. He says that Steamboat is an old man blowing smoke.
Ricky tells Santino that he has an idea. The dragon will be in Santino’s corner tonight. Barrett will find out how much smoke this old man can blow.
Matt Striker is with Randy Orton and he brings up the people whose names are in the Royal Rumble. Randy says that he is a former winner and he will win this year. There is only one Randy Orton.
The 3MB interrupt and they say that they are in the match. Heath says that they are going to rock and roll to history and main event Wrestlemania.
Randy wonders who will face him tonight.
Slater runs through the members of the band and Orton chooses the front man. He says that Slater won’t be playing the air guitar, he will be playing the harp.
Match Number Three: Kane and Daniel Bryan versus Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes
Kane and Cody start things off and Cody goes into the corner. Kane with an uppercut and he sends Cody into the turnbuckles. Kane with an uppercut to the mustache. Kane with an Irish whip but Cody with an elbow and he tags in Sandow. Kane with an uppercut to Damien. Kane with a snap mare and drop kick for a near fall.
Bryan tags in and Kane sends Bryan into the corner for a drop kick and Bryan gets a near fall. Bryan works on the arm and applies a hammer lock. Sandow with an elbow and he tags in Cody. Bryan with a drop toe hold and kick to the midsection. Bryan with more kicks to Cody. Bryan with a Northern Lights suplex for a near fall. Bryan with an uppercut and Irish whip but he runs into an elbow from Cody.
Cody puts Bryan on the ropes and kicks Daniel in the midsection. Sandow tags in and he kicks and chokes Bryan. Sandow with an elbow drop for a near fall. Cody tags back in and he punches Bryan and connects with a forearm to the back. Cody with a punch to the head and kicks.
Cody with more punches and he tags Sandow back in. Sandow with punches to Bryan and then he hits the side Russian leg sweep and it is time for the Elbow of Disdain and he connects and he tells everyone ‘You’re Welcome’. Sandow with a reverse chin lock. Sandow with a forearm to the back but Bryan with a leap frog and he tags in Kane.
Kane drops Sandow on the top rope and then he goes for the clothesline but Sandow stops him momentarily. Kane hits the clothesline and then he knocks Rhodes off the apron. Kane with a boot to Sandow for a near fall. Kane with an Irish whip and clothesline into the corner and a second one. Kane with the side slam and he gets a near fall.
Sandow sees Kane go for the choke slam and Sandow goes to the floor. Bryan with a running knee off the apron to Sandow and Bryan returns Sandow into the ring. Bryan with kicks to the midsection. Sandow with an Irish whip and Bryan flips over Sandow and he lands awkwardly.
Rhodes tags in and he puts Bryan’s leg in the ropes and he kicks the knee. The referee warns Cody and Sandow kicks Bryan in the leg. Kane with a punch to Sandow and then Rhodes with a baseball slide to Kane. Bryan with an inside cradle for a near fall. Cody with a kick to the knee and Cross Rhodes for the three count.
Winners: Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes
Randy Orton walks through the back as we go to commercial.
Match Number Four: Randy Orton versus Heath Slater (with Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal)
Slater with a waist lock but Orton with a standing switch and shoulder tackle. Slater has a hip toss blocked and Orton with a short arm clothesline for a near fall. Orton punches Slater in the corner and Slater gets into the ropes. Slater attacks Orton while the referee deals with Randy. Slater with punches but Orton with a head butt and European uppercut.
Orton takes care of Drew and Jinder on the floor and Slater kicks Orton from the apron and then Drew and Jinder attack Orton on the floor. Slater sends Orton back into the ring and he gets a near fall. Slater with a reverse chin lock. Orton with elbows and a head butt. Orton tries for a slam but Slater escapes and he hits a neck breaker and gets a near fall.
Slater goes to the turnbuckles but Orton crotches Heath and then sets for a superplex and hits it. Orton with two clotheslines and he avoids one from Slater. Orton with a power slam. Orton fights off Mahal and McIntyre. Orton sends Slater to the apron for the IEDDT and then he looks around and twists to the mat to pound it before hitting the RKO and gets the three count.
Winner: Randy Orton
After the match, Mahal and Drew attack Orton but Orton gives Mahal and McIntyre RKOs.
We go to commercial.
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