Match Number Five: Wade Barrett versus Justin Gabriel
Gabriel with a kick to the leg and he avoids Barrett and gets a near fall with a rana and rollup. Gabriel comes off the turnbuckles but Barrett moves and connects with a back heel kick. Gabriel goes to the floor and Barrett follows after him and he connects with a knee to the midsection. Barrett pulls Gabriel into the ring post as he continues to work on the ribs.
Barrett wraps the arm in the ropes and he punches Gabriel in the ribs. Barrett with an Irish whip and back breaker followed by an elbow to the ribs for a near fall. Barrett with more punches to the ribs. Barrett gets a near fall and then he applies a seated abdominal stretch. Gabriel with a drop toe hold that sends Barrett into the turnbuckles.
Gabriel with a series of kicks to Barrett but Barrett returns to the ribs with a punch and then he tries for a pump handle slam but Gabriel counters with an elbow drop and then he hits a quebrada from the top rope for a near fall.
Gabriel with punches and kicks but he misses a round kick. Barrett sends Gabriel into the air and he lands on his chest. Barrett with a fish hook and then he turns Gabriel around and connects with a forearm for the three count.
Winner: Wade Barrett
We are back and R Truth wants Little Jimmy to put on his birthday hat for Subway’s birthday. Jared Fogle is here to celebrate in the home of the original Subway. Truth tells Jared that Little Jimmy has a few ideas for sandwiches.
Damien Sandow enters and he suggests the Damien Sandow with Cornish game hen. Zack Ryder enters and he suggests the Woo Woo Woo You Know It Sub.
Jared turns around and it is Ryback and he wants to be fed more. Jared gives him a sandwich but Ryback takes a second one.
Sheamus is in the locker room and he says that when the Brogue Kick was reinstated, there was no better feeling than when he kicked Bertie in the head. Sheamus tells Cena that he should have won last night.
Cena says that neither of them won last night so he wants to win so he can make a statement for a rematch against CM Punk.
Sheamus says they will win with their backs against the wall and then they will celebrate after their victory.
Daniel Bryan is walking through the back telling everyone that he is the Tag Team Champions. We go to commercial with Kane telling everyone on the other side of the building that he is the Tag Team Champions, but with a red light in the background.
We are back and Michael Cole reminds us about Jerry Lawler’s condition. We see footage of Jerry coming off the jet in Memphis with the doctor who saved his life last week in Montreal.
Match Number Six: Kofi Kingston and R Truth versus Kane and Daniel Bryan for the WWE Tag Team Titles
Kane and Bryan argue before the bell rings about who is the Tag Team Champions.
Now they argue over who will start the match.
Kofi and Bryan start things off and they lock up with Bryan applying a side head lock. Bryan with a shoulder tackle but Kofi with a back elbow and a front face lock before tagging in Truth. Truth with a punch to the shoulder and he continues to work on the arm. Bryan with a reversal and Bryan refuses to make the tag. Truth with a kick and Kofi makes the blind tag.
Kofi with a cross body for a near fall. Bryan tags Kane in with a chop to the chest. Kane misses a punch and Kofi with kicks. Kane sends Kofi into the turnbuckles and he connects with a series of punches until the referee warns him. Kane with a kick to the chest and head butt. Kane with an Irish whip but Kofi floats over and kicks Kane in the leg. Kane with knees to Kofi.
Kane charges at Kofi but Kofi drops down and Kane goes to the floor. Kofi sends Bryan onto Kane and that means that they are going to argue for a while. We go to commercial.
We are back and Kane with a bear hug on Truth. We see footage during the break when Truth focused on Bryan on the apron and that allowed Kane to connect with a big boot. Kane runs Truth into the turnbuckles but Truth with kicks to Kane and both men are down.
Kofi tags in and hits a springboard clothesline and drop kick but it only backs Kane into the turnbuckles. Kofi leaps to the turnbuckles and punches Kane. Kofi rolls off Kane and then he connects with a pendulum kick before a cross body and he gets a near fall.
Kofi with a kick and it is time for the Boom Drop and he hits it. Kofi sets for Trouble in Paradise but Kane grabs Kofi by the throat. Kofi escapes and he tries for a triple jump cross body but Kane with an uppercut.
Kane signals for the choke slam but Bryan tags himself in. Bryan tells Kane that he is the Tag Team Champions. Kane pushes Bryan and then Truth tags in. Truth with clotheslines followed by a flying corkscrew forearm. Truth with a sit out gourdbuster for a near fall. Truth with punches to the head and Kofi is tagged back in. Truth with a slam and then Truth slams Kofi on Bryan and Kofi gets a near fall. Kofi with a key lock.
Bryan with punches to the ribs but Kofi with a drop kick for a near fall. Truth tags back in and they hit a double side Russian leg sweep and an elbow drop and knee drop combination on Bryan for a near fall.
Truth punches Bryan and then he Irish whips Bryan but Bryan with a drop toe hold that sends Truth into the turnbuckles. Kane tags in and he goes up top for the clothesline and then Kane with a drop kick for a near fall. Kane with an Irish whip and clothesline into the corner followed by a side slam out of the corner.
Kane signals for the choke slam but he sees Bryan trying to tag himself in and Kane moves out of the way. Kane grabs Bryan by the throat and Kane is dropped on the top rope. Truth with the Little Jimmy and Bryan breaks up the cover. Kofi takes care of Bryan.
Kane with a choke slam and Bryan tags in and he applies the No Lock and Truth taps out.
Winners: Daniel Bryan and Kane
After the match, Bryan celebrates with both title belts, proclaiming that he is the Tag Team Champions.
Kane takes the belts and proclaims that he is the Tag Team Champions.
The fans want a hug and Daniel Bryan has assumed the position. JBL wants them to go to commercial. Kane thinks about the hug and he does it.
Bryan takes his title belt and we have dueling I AM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.
It is time to take a look back at the Be A Star event from last March.
We see some of the Be A Star kids in the crowd.
Randy Orton is walking in the back as we go to commercial.
Match Number Seven: Randy Orton versus Tensai (with Sakamoto) in a Remember this Match from Smackdown last week Match
They lock up and Tensai backs Orton into the corner but Orton escapes. Tensai grabs Orton by the throat but Orton with punches. Tensai with a back elbow but Orton with a European uppercut. Orton with an elbow but Tensai with a shoulder tackle. Tensai sends Orton into the corner and he connects with head butts and shoulders to the lower back. Tensai with a forearm to the kidney and then Tensai connects with a second one. Tensai rakes the face and he tries for a third forearm but Orton with punches. Tensai with a power slam and he gets a near fall.
Tensai rubs his taped wrist across Orton’s face and then he head butts Orton and connects with an elbow drop and gets a near fall. Tensai with a bear hug but Orton with forearms to try to escape. Orton with shots to the head but Tensai with a head butt and Orton goes down again.
Tensai with a boot across the head followed by knees to the back. Tensai with a nerve hold. Orton gets back to his feet and connects with elbows but Tensai with a punch. Orton with a power slam and Orton appears to have used a lot of his energy to hit the move so he cannot make the cover. Tensai rolls to the floor and Tensai with an uppercut.
Orton with kicks to the chest and Orton sets for the IEDDT and hits it. Orton gets up and he looks around and then he twists to the mat for the RKO.
Tensai escapes the RKO for a moment but Tensai misses a splash into the corner and Orton with the RKO for the three count.
Winner: Randy Orton
We go to commercial.
We are back and CM Punk and Paul Heyman are talking in the back. David Otunga tells Punk that on behalf of Alberto Del Rio, he expects Punk to follow Del Rio. Paul reminds David that Punk has been champion for 303 days so he follows nobody’s lead.
David tells Heyman that it looks like Punk sleeps in a cardboard box. Otunga slurps some coffee while Paul and Punk talk. Paul suggests that Del Rio should get a time machine to go back to last year’s Survivor Series when Punk beat Del Rio for the title.
Punk tells Del Rio that he is looking forward to teaming with him. Del Rio says that it is an honor.
Damien Sandow comes out and he tells them to silence the music because he is about to speak. The season of sloth . . . or Summer Vacation has come to an end. We stand at the dawn of his most beloved season . . . Back to School. As your intellectual savior and martyr, he wants to prepare everyone for this season since no one in the WWE Universe appears to be doing so.
He tells Jim Ross that Slobberknocker is not a word. He has prepared a list of vocabulary words to better arm the children for the upcoming school year.
Word number one is temerity. Word number two is ignoramus. Word number three is miscreant.
Damien demands silence as he gets through is words. He tells them that he is trying to help the half wits.
Zack Ryder apologizes for interrupting Professor Buzzkill and he has some vocabulary words. The first one is shut, the second is up, and the third is now.
Zack says that they have a match right now.
Match Number Eight: Damien Sandow versus Zack Ryder
The match is joined in progress and Sandow with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. Ryder with a flapjack and then he clotheslines Sandow over the top rope to the floor. Ryder with a pescado onto Sandow. Ryder sends Sandow back into the ring and gets a near fall. Sandow sends Ryder’s throat into the top rope and then Sandow with boots to Ryder.
Sandow with a knee drop and he gets a near fall. Sandow with a knee to the midsection and then he rubs Ryder’s face into the mat. Sandow gets a near fall. Sandow with a leaping knee drop and then he gets a near fall. Sandow with a reverse chin lock. Ryder with punches but Sandow with a punch and side Russian leg sweep followed by the Elbow of Disdain and he gets a near fall.
Sandow sends Ryder into the corner and connects with shoulders. Sandow with an Irish whip but he misses a charge into the corner and Ryder with a rollup for a near fall. Ryder with another near fall after an inside cradle. Sandow with a kick and then he tries for a slam but Ryder escapes and connects with a forearm to the head and clothesline.
Ryder sends Sandow face first into the mat followed by a clothesline. Ryder with a running forearm into the corner and then he sets for the Broski Boot but Sandow goes to the floor. Ryder with a clothesline on the floor. Ryder sends Sandow back into the ring and Sandow with a shoulder to the midsection.
Sandow kicks Ryder in the corner. Ryder with knees to Sandow and then Ryder with the Broski Boot. Ryder gets a near fall on Sandow. Sandow with a kick to the quadriceps and then Sandow with the straightjacket neck breaker for the three count.
Winner: Damien Sandow
After the match, Sandow with the cartwheel of temerity.
We go to commercial.
Match Number Nine: Sheamus and John Cena versus Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez) and CM Punk (with Paul Heyman)
Cena and Punk start things off but they never lock up and Punk tags in Del Rio. Punk talks to Heyman about something. Del Rio has something to say to Punk before locking up with Cena. Del Rio with a side head lock but Cena rolls through to escape. Cena with a side head lock and Del Rio with a kick. Del Rio with punches and kicks.
Del Rio with a knee but Cena with an Irish whip and a monkey flip. Cena with a back body drop and Cena gets a near fall. Cena with a front face lock and Sheamus tags in and he punches Del Rio in the back. Sheamus with punches to the midsection and head. Sheamus with an Irish whip but kick to the head. Sheamus with a fireman’s carry slam for a near fall. Cena tags back in.
Del Rio with a kick and Punk is tagged in. Cena with a kick and he sends Punk into the corner and then hits a bulldog after an Irish whip. Cena gets Punk on his shoulders but Punk with a rake of the eyes and he gets to the floor.
Punk and Del Rio have some words while Cena tries to get his vision back. Punk with kicks to the head and then he chokes Cena with his boots. Del Rio tags back in and he kicks Cena in the chest. Del Rio kicks Cena and chokes him in the ropes.
Punk with a shot to Cena while the referee was not looking. Punk tags himself back in and he connects with a kick to the ribs. Cena with punches and elbows in the corner but Punk with a drop toe hold but Sheamus tags in and connects with a double sledge and punches and kicks in the corner. Sheamus with a short arm clothesline for a near fall.
Sheamus with an Irish whip but Punk with a kick and Del Rio is tagged in and Del Rio with a savate kick to the head and Del Rio taunts Cena. Del Rio with punches to Sheamus but Sheamus sends Del Rio into the ropes when Del Rio tries for a splash in the ropes. Sheamus with the forearms of ten fella on the apron.
Sheamus hits White Noise and then he looks around. Sheamus signals for the Brogue Kick but Punk distracts him. Del Rio with a lungblower but Del Rio can only get a two count. Del Rio chokes Sheamus in the ropes. Punk chokes Sheamus as well and he tags in. Punk with a kick to Sheamus followed by a chop. Sheamus with punches but Punk with a drop kick to the knees. Punk with a bow and arrow. Sheamus counters with a lateral press and a near fall.
Punk keeps Sheamus from making the tag and Del Rio tags in and kicks Sheamus in the ribs. Del Rio with a reverse chin lock. Del Rio with a knee to the midsection and then he hits a version of a curb stomp but only gets a two count.
Del Rio with a kick to Sheamus but Sheamus with a uranage back breaker. Cena and Punk tag in and Cena with two flying shoulder tackles, a Blue Thunder Bomb, and then it is time for the Five Knuckle Shuffle but Punk tries to kick Cena. Cena blocks the kick and Cena with the STF. Del Rio breaks it up. Sheamus with a Brogue Kick to Del Rio. Cena takes care of Sheamus and then he hits the Attitude Adjustment on Punk to get the three count, but Punk’s foot was on the rope.
Winners: John Cena and Sheamus
After the match, Punk and Heyman tell the referee that Punk’s foot was on the rope. They try to argue their case but the referee says that he did not see it. Punk stops the referee as he leaves the ring. Punk tells the referee that he saw the replay and he wants the referee to acknowledge that his foot was on the ropes.
We go to credits.