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Hour two starts with Madison Rayne getting a title shot against Miss Tessmacher. Earl "the creepy old dude who may or may not be easily led by a hot chick that has no real reason to want to boink him but has told him she does" Hebner is the referee. Will he finally screw someone literally and figuratively at the same time? ... They talked about Brooke Hogan and Taz said she has a lot on her plate right now. I guess that means she is eating dinner instead of attending the PPV. She is a big lass after all.
Anyway, early on Madison is in charge. She got a few nearfalls and she was mad at Captain Boner for not being able to count fast enough. Well, it's her fault since he takes meds that make for erections that last more than four hours and he needs to see a doctor. What does she expect? ... That led to the only Brooke that matters in TNA coming back and getting a two but Boner Boy broke it for his girlfriend. Madison rolled her up and ViHebner counted the pin. New champ. It was what it was. At this point, the fluff is done and it's time for the real stuff.
JB is in the back and he wants to interview Bully. Bully was smart enough to realize that the Anuses and Eightballs are around and he is keeping his back against the wall so he can't be jumped. He then said he isn't afraid of the anuses. He is on the ring to pick up 20 points. He is going to win Bound For Glory, go to Phoenix and win 20 points. ... That, of course, let to a video of Sting being the first inductee into the Hall Of Fame. Anuses and Eightballs recap time.
Time for the Tables match, 20 points to the winner. Robbie E came out first. No Robbie T. Bully was next. He is still looking for the Anuses. Jeff Hardy came out with those painted eyelids that creep me out, then came James Storm. This should be good. ... Robbie E tells them all they need to focus on him. So they do, kicking his ass as a group. Out goes Robbie. See ya, time for the men to fight.
Dumbass Robbie falls for it when Bully says he was sorry and gets Robbie to bring in the table. Robbie brought in the table and Bully wailed him. Sucker. ... Storm and Hardy teamed up to put Bully through it but Robbie moved it. Part of the table broke but they didn't count it. The announcers wondered who would have gotten points if they both put Bully through it. ... Bully went to bring a table in and Robbie paid him back by smacking him and taking it. ... He set it up and as Bully tried to get back in Robbie laid him out again. Robbie was actually in control and put Jeff on the table. He wen to the second robe and wasted time fist pumping. He ate a Storm kick. Storm pounded him and went up top. Jeff smelled superplex and got up to do a powerbomb spot but Bully moved the table. The crowd barely reacted. I really hate the Impact Zone. That was a pop worthy spot. They suck. Or the mixing of the crowd does. Or maybe both.
Jeff was working over Robbie when Robbie T came out. Jeff launched himself out to take T out. He could have put E through the table. Bad choice on Jeff's part. ... Not for nothing, but if I am Robbie E I don't wear tights with a fist on my ass. Just saying. Anyway, Robbie E put Hardy on a table on a floor. He came off of the turnbuckle but Jeff moved and Robbie is eating particle board. ... Back in the ring it's Bully and Storm. Bully was in charge when the Anuses and Eights came out. Bully was distracted and Strom hit the superkick. The Anuses gave him a thumbs up. Storm was confused by why they helped him. This let Jeff jump Storm from behind. Note to Storm, if you get help take it you dumbass. ... Anyway, Storm made his own comeback and he and Jeff fought. ... Tenay said it's hard to believe Storm isn't guilty after what we say there. Uh Mike, I saw Storm not take an easy win because he didn't know it was coming. What did you see? ... Then, Hardy had Storm beat when the Anuses came back. Jeff yelled at them allowing Storm to come back. But not far enough. Bully came in and stole the 20 points by putting Jeff through the table. OK, Bully and Devon both won. If TNA put them both over without them signing new deals they are morons. ... Fun match, lots of plunder. All of them looked good.
Austin Aries did a promo and then it was time for Kenny King vs. Zema Ion, X Division Title. ... The first big spot was a miss as Zema went over the top....and King's back on the floor. Ouch, well not really. Ouch would have been if he hit it. That is kind of representative for the match because this one has an indy feel to it. There are some hits and lots of misses. And just as I typed that, King did a sick cradle throw into the ropes on Ion and then flip splashed him on the floor. He then got a two back in the ring. It got more fluid from here. ... Ion won with a sick version of a facebuster. They worked hard. Some of it worked, some of it didn't, but the effort was there for sure.
JB says next up is the Ladder match and Samoa Joe is here to say he is ready. He is not worried about the A Wipes and 8balls. He is a bad ass.
Ladder Match time, 20 points on the line. AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle vs. Daniels vs. Samoa Joe. This should be good.
Thoughts continue on Page 3!
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