The Royal Rumble commercial aired. It shows members of both rosters, dressed in wigs and costumes as if they were in "West Side Story" and singing (yes, singing) about having a Rumble. Babyfaces and heels in the same "gangs", they appeared to have them divided up by brand. Suddenly, the singing ended, and Vince McMahon was shown sitting up in bed saying "That's not the rumble I had in mind".
The events leading to Jesus vs. John Cena was shown.
Streetfight: U.S. Champion John Cena vs. Jesus, with Carlito Caribbean Cool.
It was announced before the match that it was No DQ, and Falls Count Anywhere. Cena wore a "Ruck Fules" shirt, and a new U.S. Title belt, which had a spinning front plate decorated like a U.S. Flag. Cena glared at Jesus as he came down the aisle with Carlito, who still had his arm in a sling. Carlito spat apple at Cena from the apron, but instead of going after Carlito, Cena charged Jesus as he was coming into the ring. The bell rang as Cena punched Jesus down in a corner, then choked him against the bottom rope. Jesus raked Cena's eyes, and Carlito threw a kendo stick to Jesus. Jesus hit Cena in the side with it, targeting his kidney, but Cena charged him and knocked him to the floor. Cena got control of the stick on the outside and beat Jesus with it again and again. Cena kicked Jesus' head against the ringpost. Cena chased after Carlito, who ran up the aisle. Cena yelled after him "you're next". Cena went back to Jesus, hitting him with a series of right hands. Cena dared Carlito to come back down the aisle. Cena took off his shirt, revealing bandages on his back from the "kidney injury". Cena kicked Jesus, who was now bleeding, in the head.
They went into the crowd, with Cena punching Jesus and choking him with a television cable. Cena stopped to have a beer with a fan, then went back to pounding Jesus. Cena hit him with a trash can, as they were going up into the stands. Cena was threatening to toss Jesus off an entranceway, but Carlito showed up and hit a weak shot at Cena. Jesus and Carlito tried to run away, but Cena caught up with him, putting a trash can on Jesus' head. Carlito tried to get involved again, but had no affect, as Cena continued to pound Jesus back to ringside. Cena jumped off the guardrail and gave Jesus a facebuster into the mats on the floor. Cena tossed Jesus back into the ring and pulled out a metal trash can lid and a street sign. Cena blasted Jesus with both weapons. Cena pumped up his sneakers and gave Jesus an FU for the pin, ending the one sided squash at the eight minute mark.
Winner: John Cena
Post-match, Carlito went to steal Cena's lock and chain again, but Cena stopped him. Cena grabbed the chain and knocked out Carlito with it. Cena then took his belt and chain and left the ring.
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