R Truth brings Little Jimmy to a chair at ringside as the ‘sane’ people talk to an invisible person.
Who wants some Touts?
Abraham Washington comes out and he introduces everyone to the future WWE Tag Team Champions, Darren Young and Titus O’Neil.
Match Number Three: Titus O’Neil (with Darren Young, Abraham Washington, and a live mic) versus Kofi Kingston (with R Truth and Little Jimmy)
Titus with a forearm and Irish whip but Kofi with boots to Titus. Kofi tries for a cross body but Titus catches Kofi and hits a back breaker. Titus barks while Abe talks over the action. Titus sends Kofi into the corner but Kofi with punches. Titus with a slam and he gets a near fall. Titus with a rear chin lock.
Kofi with punches but Titus with a forearm to the back. Titus holds on to Kofi but he waits too long and Kofi with a DDT and both men are down. Kofi with chops and a drop kick but Titus stays on his feet. Kofi with the Superman punch followed the Boom Drop. Darren gets on the apron and Truth takes care of him.
Abe throws his shoe at Kofi and Abe runs away. Kofi turns around and gets hit with Clash of the Titus for the three count.
Winner: Titus O’Neil
CM Punk is in the back and he tells Cena to watch the tapes. He might have taken advantage of Big Show’s involvement but with the title on the line, anything would have been done. Punk says that some say that they should have done more than stand and watch what Show did to Cena. Punk says that he likes Cena and he doesn’t wish either of them luck in their match later tonight because he doesn’t care who wins.
Punk says that Cena is angry because Punk did in one night to Rock what Cena couldn’t do in a year.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Michael Cole apologizes for what Abraham Washington said during the O’Neil/Kingston match.
We then see what Punk said to Cena before the commercial break.
We go to the ring and Heath Slater has a mic. First we see what happened to Heath on Raw 1000.
Slater says that now that the legends have finally went back to the retirement home, he can get his career back on track. Slater says that he is here to challenge any current WWE Superstar to come out and lose to the One Man Band.
Match Number Four: Heath Slater versus Randy Orton
Slater with punches and he sends Orton into the corner. Slater with punches and the referee pulls Slater out of the corner. Orton with a clothesline or two. Slater misses a clothesline and that means it is power slam time. Orton looks around and sends Slater to the apron for an IEDDT. Orton looks around and makes sure not to stare where Sheamus does for the Brogue Kick and it is RKO time and he gets the three count.
Winner: Randy Orton
Daniel Bryan is in the back and he says that his neck is killing him. He doesn’t need to go through this examination.
Bryan is asked what his name is, if he is from Aberdeen, Washington, if he is a former World Champion, if he is a vegan, and if he did not get married last week.
Bryan answers yes to all of the questions and he cannot stop saying ‘YES’.
We go to commercial.
Match Number Five: Chris Jericho and Christian versus Miz and Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero)
Dolph and Christian start things off but Christian wants Miz to start. They lock up and Ziggler with a waist lock take down and the he struts because he is impressed with himself. Christian with a slap and flapjack for a near fall. Ziggler with elbows to the head and Miz tags in. Christian takes Miz down and punches him. Miz tags Ziggler back in.
They lock up and Jericho tags in and Ziggler tags Miz back in. Jericho with a hip toss to Miz followed by a clothesline. Jericho slams Miz and hits an elbow drop for a near fall. Jericho with a chop to Miz and then he chops him again in the corner. Jericho with an Irish whip and he runs into a boot from Miz. Miz kicks Jericho and sends him into the turnbuckles. Ziggler tags in and he punches Jericho. Jericho with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. Ziggler sends Jericho over the top rope but he goes to the apron and up top for a chop to the head. Jericho clotheslines Ziggler over the top rope. Miz is sent to the floor and Christian with a cross body from the top and we go to commercial.
We are back and Miz with a reverse chin lock. We see footage from the commercial break when Vickie distracted Jericho long enough to allow Ziggler to knock him off the apron. Miz with a clothesline for a near fall. Miz returns to the reverse chin lock. Jericho with a belly-to-back suplex and he gets out of the chin lock.
Christian and Ziggler tag in and Christian with punches and a running forearm. Christian slingshots to the floor and he connects with an uppercut. Christian with a corkscrew back elbow but Ziggler sends Christian into the turnbuckles. Christian with a back heel kick and sunset flip for a near fall.
Christian takes care of Miz and Ziggler but Ziggler with a drop kick and he gets a near fall. Miz tags in and kicks Christian in the head. He chokes Christian in the ropes. Ziggler kicks Christian. Miz gets another near fall. Christian punches Miz but Miz with a knee. Christian sends Miz to the floor and Christian struggles to make it to his corner. Miz pulls Jericho off the apron to prevent Christian from making the tag.
Miz and Ziggler attack Christian while the referee was not looking and then Miz gets a near fall. Ziggler tags back in and he hits a few elbow drops and then he hits a leaping elbow drop for a near fall. Ziggler with a reverse chin lock and he does a headstand to add more pressure. Christian with punches but Ziggler with a neck breaker.
Ziggler kicks Christian and connects with an elbow. Ziggler with shoulders in the corner. Ziggler with kicks and he tries for the Fameasser but Christian with a power bomb and both men are down. Miz and Jericho tag in and Jericho with shoulder tackles. Jericho with a springboard drop kick to Ziggler on the apron. Jericho with a bulldog followed by a Lionsault and he gets a near fall.
Christian with a spear on Ziggler but Miz sends Christian into the ring post. Jericho tries for the Walls of Jericho but Miz powers out and he kicks Jericho in the head. Miz sets for the Skull Crushing Finale but Jericho escapes. Christian with a thumb to the eyes and Jericho hits the Codebreaker for the three count.
Winners: Chris Jericho and Christian
After the match, Ziggler hits Jericho in the back of the head with the briefcase.
We go back to Daniel Bryan’s psychological evaluation. It is time for the Rorschach Test. Daniel sees the inkblots and sees a goat face. He says that he is not a goatface or an oompa loompa. He wants to know if Charlie Sheen put him up to this.
We are back and it is time to see what people are Touting about.
Match Number Six: Tensai (with Sakamoto) versus Tyson Kidd
Kidd with kicks to the leg and Kidd with an enzuigiri. Tensai with a shoulder tackle and splash into the corner. Tensai with a slingshot into the ropes followed by an elbow drop and forearms to the back of the head. Tensai with a nerve hold. Kidd with a spinning back heel kick and he misses a charge into the corner. Kidd with a rollup for a near fall.
Kidd with an enzuigiri from the apron and he goes up top for a blockbuster for a near fall. Kidd with a kick and forearms. Tensai with a choke slam and back senton for the three count.
After the match, Tensai with a short arm clothesline or two. Tensai with elbow drops and he sets for a back breaker. The referee reverses the decision due to Tensai’s post match attack.
Tensai tells Sakamoto to assume the position and Tensai slaps him. Tensai throws Sakamoto to the floor.
The psychiatrist finds Bryan bitter, short tempered, and obsessed with Charlie Sheen. The doctor finds Bryan completely sane.
Bryan says that he knew he was sane.
The lights go red and Kane says that he is Bryan’s anger management therapist.
Kane slams Bryan’s head into the walls and table before leaving.
We are back and in case you missed it last week, or earlier tonight, we see a recap of the reason why Brock Lesnar will be facing Triple H at SummerSlam.
CM Punk makes his way to the announce table to get up close and personal to see who he will be facing at SummerSlam.
Show confronts Punk at the announce table before John Cena makes his way to the ring.
Match Number Seven: John Cena versus Big Show in a Number One Contender Match
Show misses a punch and Cena with punches to Show. Show with a punch to the midsection. Show with a head butt and Irish whip and running butt splash into the corner. Show with a punch to the midsection followed by a head butt. Show with the shhhh chop in the corner. Show with another shhhh chop in the corner.
Show goes for a third shhhh chop but Cena moves and he climbs on Show’s back and tries to choke Show out. Show runs Cena into the turnbuckles. Cena tries for a cross body but Show catches him. Cena returns to the choke.
Show falls to his knees as Cena continues to apply the choke. Show falls to the mat and Cena gets a near fall but Show sends Cena through the ropes when he kicks out and we go to commercial.
We are back and Big Show is in control of the match right now. Cena with punches to Show followed by a kick. Cena tries for a flying shoulder tackle but Cena bounces off Show. Show walks across Cena’s chest. Show with an Irish whip and running back splash and Show has something to say to Punk.
Show tells Punk to polish up his title for him. Show with another Irish whip and he charges into the corner again but Cena gets his boots up and Cena with a bulldog and both men are down. Cena with kicks and punches to Show and Show with a bear hug. Cena with elbows to get out of the bear hug. Cena tries to slam Show but he collapses under Show’s weight and Show gets a near fall.
Show signals for the choke slam and he grabs Cena by the throat. Cena counters with a DDT and both men are down again. Show hits a side slam on a charging Cena. Show gets up first and he goes to the turnbuckles for the elbow drop but Cena moves. Cena with a shoulder tackle followed by a blue thunder bomb. Cena with the five knuckle shuffle but Show with a choke slam and Cena is able to kick out at two.
Show brings Cena back into the ring and then he punches Cena and Cena goes to the floor again. Show tries to send Cena into the ring post but Cena sends Show into the post. Cena charges at Show and Show sends Cena into Punk.
The referee starts his count on Cena but he gets back into the ring in time. Punk is holding his shoulder against the ringside barrier. Show signals for the punch but Cena moves. Cena gets Show up for the FU but Punk attacks Cena and the referee calls for the bell.
Winner: CM Punk by disqualification
After the match, Punk kicks Show in the head.
Punk takes the mic and title belt and he goes into the ring where both Cena and Show are down. Punk says that the winner of this contest is . . . nobody.
Punk says that both of them are losers and he drops the mic and leaves the ring. Punk walks to the back and he walks past AJ.
AJ comes out and she says that CM Punk is wrong. They are not losers. They are both winners so we will have a Triple Threat Match at SummerSlam where Punk will face John Cena and Big Show.
Punk tells AJ that he is the champion and she cannot do this. AJ tells Punk that she is the GM. Punk tells her that she is a bad GM and Punk demands respect as we go to credits.