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WWE RAW 1000 REPORT: LEGENDS RETURN; SOME FORGOTTEN FACES RETURN; A FEW SURPRISES; A WRESTLING WEDDING . . . WHAT COULD GO WRONG; WE HAVE A NEW RAW GENERAL MANAGER; DOES JOHN CENA CONTINUE THE MONEY IN THE BANK STREAK?; WHO GETS TO BEAT HEATH SLATER THIS WEEK?; WHAT WAS BROCK LESNAR'S ANSWER TO HHH?

By Richard Trionfo on 2012-07-23 23:13:41
We are back with our guest ring announcer, Bret Hart.

Bret says that one of his greatest moments was when he won the Intercontinental Title for the first time against Mr. Perfect.

Match Number Three: Christian versus The Miz for the Intercontinental Title

Christian with a waist lock but Miz with a standing switch and side head lock. Christian with a shoulder tackle and then he goes to the turnbuckles for a missile drop kick. Christian runs into a boot. Christian sends Miz over the top rope to the floor. Christian goes up top and hits a cross body and we go to commercial with Christian holding his knee.

We are back and Miz works on the injured ankle. We see footage from the commercial when Miz sent Christian into the ring steps. Christian with an inverted DDT and then he connects with an uppercut from the floor, but he does not slingshot to the floor like he normally does.

Christian with a cross body for a near fall and then he goes up to the turnbuckles for a corkscrew back elbow. Miz misses a punch and Christian with a back heel kick and sunset flip for a near fall. Christian with a sunset flip but Miz rolls through and kicks Christian to get a near fall. Miz with kicks to the leg and he wraps the leg in the ropes.

Christian with a punch and tornado DDT for a near fall. Christian sets for the spear but Miz stops him and hits a DDT for a near fall. Miz sets for the Awesome Clothesline but Christian moves. Christian tries for the Killswitch but Miz sends Christian into the turnbuckles. Miz with the Skull Crushing Finale for the three count after Christian’s knee buckles when he lands on his feet after escaping a suplex attempt.

Winner: Miz

Miz gets on the mic after his victory and tells everyone that he is the Intercontinental Champion and he is awesome.

Charlie Sheen is back and he says that he is a fan of the Rock and he is looking forward to seeing him at the Royal Rumble. Sheen calls Daniel Bryan a weasel and says that Daniel has some anger management issues. Charlie calls Daniel an oompa loompa.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Regis Philbin talks about how he was a fan his entire life. He mentions his appearance at Wrestlemania 7. He talks about the many wrestlers who have been on his show through the years.

It is time for Triple H to come to the ring in a more serious tone because he has to deal with Brock Lesnar and his challenge for SummerSlam.

We see the footage from three months ago when Lesnar attacked Triple H.

Hunter asks everyone if they are having a good time. Hunter says that he had his fun so it is time to pick up the intensity a bit. Hunter says that he knows that Brock Lesnar is here. He wants to fight Brock Lesnar at SummerSlam. Hunter says that he wants an answer and he wants it now.

Brock Lesnar’s music plays and Paul Heyman makes his way to the ring.

Hunter says that he came out to talk to the horse’s head, not the horse’s ass.

Paul says that he is impressed with Hunter’s negotiating stance since the last time. He says that his client Brock Lesnar is here. Paul asks Hunter if he wants to fight Brock and main event at SummerSlam. Paul tells Hunter that Brock’s answer is . . .

NO.

Hunter says that he is tired of that crap. If Lesnar doesn’t want to come out like a man, he will get Brock.

Paul reminds Hunter that he already has two lawsuits against him and WWE and now he wants to risk a third. He asks if that is good for business.

Hunter says that he doesn’t care. He wants to know if Brock is such a coward he doesn’t want to come out and say it to Hunter’s face. He asks if Brock is a bully or a coward. Is Brock afraid of him?

Paul wants to know if Hunter is going to resort to name calling to get Brock to fight him. He wants to know if that is the way Hunter tells his kids to behave.

Hunter tells Paul not to talk about his family.

Paul says that he shouldn’t have brought up Hunter’s children because of the sins of the parents fall upon the children.

Stephanie McMahon comes out to the ring and she is not in a gregarious mood tonight.

Stephanie tells Heyman that he does not talk about her children ever again. She tells Paul if he wants to make it personal, these lawsuits are not about Brock, but about Paul’s failures as a businessman in WCW, ECW, and WWE.

Stephanie says that as a visionary, Paul is looking in the rear view mirror.

Stephanie says that her dad had the guts to step in the ring with her husband, unlike Brock. Stephanie says that Paul’s children are ashamed of Paul because they know that their father is nothing more than a professional parasite. Stephanie slaps Paul in the face.

Paul goes to the apron and he re-enters the ring. If this is how bad Stephanie wants it. Does she want her husband get hurt? Paul says that the match is on.

Paul applauds Stephanie and he says that she did it again and she got what she wanted. It is what her father taught her. Stephanie attacks Paul and punches him.

Brock’s music plays again and he comes out and does the Brock Bounce.

Lesnar sends Hunter into the corner and he punches him. Hunter with a kick and punches of his own. They exchange punches and Hunter with a knee. Hunter with a kick and punch followed by a clothesline that sends Brock over the top rope to the floor.

We go to commercial.

We are back with more Tout comments. We even get comments from Kofi Kingston.

Michael mentions the poll for who they want to see in a dream match on WWE13 and the winner is Steve Austin versus John Cena.

We take a look back at the feud that put Raw on the map, Steve Austin versus Vince McMahon. We see Stunners, the concrete in the Corvette, the zamboni, the beer truck, and more stunners.

We go to commercial.

We are back with a look at some of the media coverage of Raw 1000.

Santino Marella and Hornswoggle come to the ring and they have the new Brawling Buddies action figures.

Howard Finkel is in the ring to do the announcing duties for the next match.

Heath takes the mic from Howard Finkel and he says that everything that happened to him on Raw is in the past. The only thing that you are going to remember is his match tonight. His victory is going to be epic. He challenges a legend in the back to a No Disqualification Match.

Lita comes out and Heath asks her if she thinks she can beat him. He accepts the challenge.

Match Number Four: Heath Slater versus Lita in a No Disqualification and No Count Out Match

Lita gets the mic and she tells him that for this match, she hired a little protection and it is the APA.

Slater goes up the ramp but Road Warrior Animal comes out and he is joined by everyone else who has kicked Heath’s ass. Vader and Sid send him back into the ring. Lita with a kick and Twist of Fate. Bradshaw with the Clothesline from Hell. Lita goes up top for a moonsault and the three count.

Winner: Lita

After the match, they all stand over Heath and Ron Simmons lets out a DAMN!!!

In case you missed it earlier, we see Vince McMahon’s announcement of the new General Manager during the wedding when we found out that AJ Lee will be in charge.

Then we see what Rock got for Daniel Bryan as a wedding present.

Sean Mooney is with Daniel Bryan and he asks Daniel about tonight. Daniel says that this entire night has been tainted. AJ humiliated him. Rock attacked him. Charlie Sheen called him an oompa loompa. Who is Charlie to do that. Bryan says that Charlie Sheen needs life management. If Charlie Sheen was standing where Sean is standing now, he would slap the Yes Lock on faster than Charlie could say ‘winning’.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Michael Cole is with the 100 millionth social media follower. Michael asks Alex Guerrero Jr. if he is excited to be here. Michael tells Alex that he can be honored that he was interviewed by Michael Cole.

It is time to look at some of the catchphrases over the 1000 episodes of Raw.

Zack Ryder is in the back with John Cena and Gene Okerlund. Zack says that Gene Okerlund was behind GTV. Gene says that he wasn’t even working for the company at the time.

Rock enters the area and Zack and Gene know that it is time to go.

John tells the Rock that it has been a long time.

Rock wishes John luck tonight and tells him to have a great match.

John reminds Rock about his announcement about getting the title match at Royal Rumble. Cena says that he will be cashing in so he can get one more shot at the Great One.

Rock says that he cannot tell Cena how much he is looking forward to that.

We go to commercial.

Jinder Mahal says that there will be no match because for 999 episodes, the six of them have been given no opportunities. They take their own. Jinder is with Drew McIntyre, Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins, Hunico, and Camacho.

Undertaker’s music plays and the pyro appears on the stage along with the smoke and the Undertaker makes his way to the ring.

The Forgotten Six are forgotten for a moment but we see them at ringside.

Taker and Kane punch Reks, Hawkins, Mahal, Hunico, Camacho, and McIntyre. Kane grabs Hawkins and Taker grabs Hunico and we get stereo choke slams.

Taker and Kane signal that it is time for some tombstone piledrivers.

We go to footage from a Be A Star rally in St. Louis.

We go to commercial.

We are back and Charlie Sheen is back with Michael and Jerry. Michael brings up what Daniel Bryan said about Charlie. Charlie says that he is going to shake Bryan so hard that his beard will fall off. Charlie tells goat face that he is not hard to find. Jerry asks Charlie if he is challenging Daniel to a match and Charlie tells Daniel that he can translate it however he wants.

We go to footage from last week’s Raw when John Cena made the announcement that he would cash in tonight.

Match Number Five: John Cena versus CM Punk for the WWE Title

Punk offers his hand and Cena accepts so this will be a match of honor.

They lock up and Cena with a side head lock. Cena with a shoulder tackle. They lock up again and Cena with a side head lock. Cena with another shoulder tackle. Cena blocks a hip toss but Punk gets a near fall with a backslide. They lock up again and Punk works on the arm and applies a hammer lock.

Punk with an abdominal stretch and he works on the ribs with an elbow. Cena with a hip toss to escape and he tries for the STF but Punk kicks Cena away. They lock up again and Cena backs Punk into the turnbuckles and Cena with a clean break. Punk with chops and knees to Cena. Cena with a kick and forearms followed by punches. Cena sends Punk into the turnbuckles followed by a side head lock take down.

Punk with a belly-to-back suplex and Punk with a kick to the back. Punk with a back breaker for a near fall. Punk with a reverse chin lock but Cena gets back to his feet. Cena with a kick to the midsection and then we see punches exchanged by both men.

Punk and Cena add some kicks to the punches. Cena with the advantage and Cena with the two flying shoulder tackles but Punk escapes the Blue Thunder Bomb. Punk with a leg lariat followed by a clothesline but Punk misses the swinging neck breaker. Punk with a running knee into the corner and Cena counters the bulldog with the Blue Thunder Bomb. Cena tells Punk that he can’t see him but Punk with a kick to the face and then to the back of the head.

Punk tells everyone that someone is going to go to sleep. Punk gets Cena on his shoulders but Cena pushes Punk into the referee and the referee is down. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment and would have gotten the three count.

Big Show comes to the ring and while Cena checks on the referee, Show hits Cena with a spear when he returns to the ring. Show waits for Cena to get up for the knockout punch. Cena gets up and Show connects. Show leaves the ring.

Punk doesn’t really know what to do and he goes to check on the referee. Punk rolls the referee back in and since it has been so long, Cena kicks out at two. Punk picks up Cena and gets him on his shoulders for the Go To Sleep but Cena counters and puts Punk in the STF. Big Show comes back to he ring and he attacks Cena. The referee calls for the bell.

Winner: John Cena by disqualification

After the match, Big Show attacks John Cena and Punk thinks about what to do over the situation. Show slams Cena and then Rock’s music plays. Rock runs to the ring and he goes past CM Punk. Rock punches Show and then he hits a spinebuster. Rock sets for the People’s Elbow but Punk with a clothesline to Rock.

Punk waits for Rock to get up and he mocks Rock and then hits the Go To Sleep.

We go to credits.


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