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COMPLETE CZW CAGE OF DEATH 13 INTERNET PPV COVERAGE: INSANE MAIN EVENT, CALLIHAN VS. FOX FOR JUNIOR TITLE, ZANDIG RETURNS AND MORE

By Mike Johnson on 2011-12-03 23:59:00

Kamui & Yoshiko Sasaki & Masa Takanashi & Jun Kasai & Jaki Numazaewa vs. Danshoku Dieno & Kudo & Kengo Mashimo & Takashi Sasaki & Ryuji Ito

Dieno kissed Larry Legend again.  This was after he chased a guy who was in his underwear and tied up from the back and around ringside.  Different strokes rule the world, folks.  They all brawled at the bell.  Instant chaos.  Diego molested Kamui as he worked him over early.

Kamui came back with several dropkicks.  Mashimo tagged in and Yoshino followed in and began kicking each other back and forth.  Takanashi tagged in and worked over Yoshiko.  Kudo tagged in and nailed a slingshot double knees bomb attack on him for a two count.  Dieno tagged in and nailed a crotch to the face on Takanashi. He went to the top and pulled down his pants so his partners could run their opponent into his bare crotch.  This led to a comedy spot where Jaki used a broom to attack and it instead was embedded in his rear end.  This is what I write about for a living folks.  Dieno had trouble pulling it out so when Jaki did, there was brown at the tip.  Oh boy.  Dieno remained hanging atop the corner for a LONG time.

The battle kicked off with some crazy stiff back and forth action.  Kamui was powerbombed by Takashi but came back with a rolling kick and a senton.  Everyone hit the ring to break it up and brawled all over the arena.  Kamui tried to pulled down Dieno's pants and ended up shoved into the crack.

Everyone started working on Kamui.  Ito hit a frog splash but everyone hit the ring to break it up.   Takashi hit a Falcon's Arrow for the pin.

Your winners, Danshoku Dieno & Kudo & Kengo Mashimo & Takashi Sasaki & Ryuji Ito!

Quite the spectacle.

Homicide & Eddie Kingston vs. Philly's Most Wanted

They started brawling during the ring introductions.  Joker and Homicide brawled stiffly on the floor.  Kingston was nailed with a senton dive over the top to the floor.  Jeez almost came up short.  That was scary.  Most Wanted worked over Homicide with double team moves. Kingston returned and catapulted Joker into a Homicide lariat.  Joker landed on Kingston's knees and Homicide nailed a senton back splash.

Kingston leapt to the outside with a double clothesline on Most Wanted.  Back in the ring, Homicide and Jeez went back and forth.  Homicide nailed the Three Amigos.  Joker broke it up so he ate it too.  Kingston lariated Jeez.   Homicide and Kingston nailed synchronized lariats and boots in the corner on Most Wanted.

As the match settled into a more traditional battle, Most Wanted doubled on Homicide.   Homicide went back and forth with chops.  Jeez took control with a double slap to the ears and chops to the face.  They locked up and Homicide was forced into Most Wanted's corner.  They worked him over so Kingston charged and they all started brawling.  Kingston was thrown out of the ring and grabbed a chair but the referee took it.  Meanwhile, they continued the beating on Homicide in Most Wanted's corner.

The crowd rallied Homicide, who tried to go for the Gringo Killer.  Joker fought him off but was caught with a tornado DDT.  Homicide was caught with a tiltowhirl backbreaker.  Kingston lost it and tried to hit the ring but was held back, allowing more diabolic double teaming.  

Jeez locked in a rear chinlock.  Joker tagged in and nailed a back suplex.  He continued beating on Homicide, who cursed and dared him to keep coming.  Homicide caught him with a small package but Joker kicked out.  Most Wanted continued working over Homicide.  The crowd was getting restless since it was building slowly after al the craziness.  Homicide nailed an exploder on Joker who rolled over and tagged out to Jeez.  Homicide backdropped him and tagged Kingston.

Kingston went nuts with offense, beating the piss out of Most Wanted with suplexes and stiff punches.  Homicide nailed a tope con hilo to the floor on Most Wanted.   Kingston chopped the hell out of Joker in the corner, Kenta Kobashi style.  Homicide whipped Jeez into the railing.  Kingston slammed Joker and nailed the back fist.  Joker fired back with strikes of his own.  He drilled Kingston in the corner and nailed a sick suplex.  Kington popped up and nailed a back drop driver.  Joker returned with a suplex of his own.  Kingston nailed a sick KO punch and tagged Homicide who nailed a sit down powerbomb for a two count.

Jeez returned to the fray, working over Homicide and locked in an STF in the center.  Most Wanted worked over Homicide.  Jeez held him while Joker came off with a big elbow.  Kingston broke up the pinfall and slammed Jeez.  He chopped away at Joker hard.  They exchanged stiff forearms.  They began headbutting each other.  Jeez tripped Kingston and Joker nailed him with a kick.

Homicide and Joker went back and forth.  Joker nailed Homicide but was caught with a crazy suplex throw.  Jeez was nailed with a series of strikes but drilled Kingston with a big DDT for a two count.   Jeez came off with a double stomp and covered Kingston but Maven Bentley pulled the referee out of the ring and told Jeez "F*** you."  Jeez throttled him and went back to the double stomp but missed.  Kingston laid him out.  Bentley told Kingston to kill Jeez but instead Kingston laid him out.

Homicide looked confused but finally agreed with Kingston and laid out the referee as well.  They turned their attention back to Most Wanted.  Kingston tossed a few chairs in the ring.  They rang the bell and declared it a no content.  They kept brawling as a ton of security hit the ring to break it up.  Jeez started killing people with chairs.   All four beat the hell out of the security.  The ring announcer tried again to announce it was over but Kingston took the mic and demanded Most Wanted return to the ring.  They finally returned and started brawling again. 

 One lone security guy tried to stop them to no avail.  Most Wanted split, so Homicide and Kingston decided to take their anger out of him, dropping him with a Gringo Killer on the mi and beating the piss out of him with chairs.   A fan was  giving Kingston static so he hopped the rails and went after him, getting in his face.

A really good brawl.

Coverage Continues on Page Four!


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