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The Miz comes out and he is still holding his head high even though in the last six weeks he has lost his title and his human lapdog Alex Riley.
We see footage from last week when Alex Riley and Steve Austin got assists on a John Cena victory over Miz and R Truth that was later reversed.
Miz says that tonight is WWE All Star night. Monday Night Raw is the flagship show of the WWE. Last week, he won the main event so that means that he is the all time WWE All Star. Miz says that has been obvious for a long time. You would have to be an ignorant moron not to know that. That means that you would be Alex Riley. He calls Riley a fraud and he says that he will expose Riley more than a Tweet from Anthony Weiner.
Before he does that, he is going to teach Riley another lesson. Something to teach Riley how to be a superstar. Miz comments on the whating in the crowd and he says that he is going to teach Riley a lesson as he calls out Steve Austin. Miz wants to know why there is an icon from the Attitude Era looking over him trying to steal his spotlight and success. Miz tells Austin that he owes him an apology.
Miz is interrupted by broken glass and Austin makes his way to the ring.
Austin says that he was waiting backstage and he heard Miz says that he was going to call him out. Austin wants to know if that is the best that Miz has got. He talks about Miz’s stupid suit, tie, hair, and handkerchief. He then tells Miz to shut up before he responds. Austin tells Miz that the night after Wrestlemania, he let Miz run his mouth and talk his trash to see if Miz is as good as everyone says.
Austin says that he will give Miz some credit. He calls him a silver tongue devil. When it came to the fight, Miz turned his tail and ran to the back.
Austin cuts off Miz again. He tells Miz to keep his mouth shut while his is moving.
Austin tells Miz that he will respect him tonight. Austin says that he has an itchy trigger finger and he will give Miz a stunner if necessary. Austin says that Riley got in the ring with him and jumped his ass, but Riley got his ass whipped. He gives Riley credit for showing that he had guts. He can talk as well as give and take an ass whipping.
Austin tells Miz that Riley might be a bigger superstar than Miz some day.
Austin tells Miz to shut up and then wants to know if he should give Miz a stunner and the fans want it.
Austin wants to know what is going to happen on Sunday when Miz and Riley meet in the ring. Austin grabs Miz by the tie and he tells Miz that him and Riley need some counseling so he is going to put them with someone who is good at talking. They will be in the ring with Rowdy Roddy Piper.
Austin tells Miz that if he knows what is good for him, he will get out of the ring. Miz saunters behind Miz and Austin tells Miz that he better get to steppin’ because it ain’t Miz’s time to be a hero.
Austin says that he is making the law and the matches . . .
And then he is interrupted by Alberto Del Rio and he is finally ready to wrestle.
Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto.
Alberto introduces himself to Austin, but he already knows that. Alberto says that he wanted to make this official. The greatest superstar of his time, Stone Cold passing the torch to the greatest of all time, Alberto Del Rio. The rumors have been running all day. Alberto says that Austin wanted to see what true greatness was up close. Alberto says that it is his destiny . . .
To be cut off by Steve Austin. Austin says that he ain’t much of a fortune teller and he ain’t got no psychic abilities to look into the future, but he sees an ass whooping in his future. Ever since Alberto injured Big Show, Alberto thinks that he is big bad and tough. There is a sumbitch who has wanted to bash in Alberto’s skull, but he hasn’t had a chance. Alberto will be facing this man . . . and it is Big Show’s partner, Kane.
We are back with the Slam of the Week: Big Show being attacked by Alberto Del Rio’s car three weeks ago.
Match Number One: Alberto Del Rio with Ricardo Rodriguez versus Kane
Kane with a knee and punch to Del Rio followed by an elbow and uppercut. Kane with a snap mare and drop kick for a near fall. Kane tries for a slam but Del Rio escapes and kicks Kane followed by an arm breaker for a near fall. Del Rio continues to work on the arm and he kicks Kane in the arm and gets a near fall. Del Rio with a key lock but Kane forces Del Rio over the top rope to the floor.
Del Rio returns to the ring and he eats a punch and big boot. Kane with an Irish whip and clothesline into the corner. Kane with a side slam for a near fall. Kane goes up top and Del Rio moves out of the way. Del Rio applies the cross arm breaker and Kane tries to get to the ropes and he finally gets there.
Del Rio refuses to release the hold so the referee disqualifies Del Rio for not adhering to the five count.
Winner: Kane by disqualification
Big Show’s music plays and Del Rio releases the hold. Show runs to the ring and he goes after Del Rio. Ricardo Rodriguez comes to Del Rio’s aid and Show pounds Rodriguez. Kane tries to stop Show while Del Rio continues to punch Ricardo. Kane finally pulls Show off of Rodriguez.
Steve Austin comes out and he tells Del Rio that he might as well make his way down to Washington D.C. because Del Rio will be facing the Big Show at Capitol Punishment. He says that being hit by a car won’t feel anything like feeling a punch from Big Show.
We go to commercial.
We are back with a Moments Ago Moment of Big Show sprinting to the ring to go after Del Rio only to see Ricardo Rodriguez look like a Mike Tyson opponent. Rodriguez got stretchered out of the building during the commercial break.
Match Number Two: Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, and Wade Barrett versus Daniel Bryan, Ezekiel Jackson, and Sin Cara with Smackdown Trampoline in a You can only see this match on Smackdown Match
Cody and Cara start things off and Cara kicks Rhodes in the leg and then he hits a springboard back elbow. Bryan tags in and he connects with an English uppercut or two. Rhodes with an Irish whip but Bryan with a boot. Bryan knocks DiBiase off the apron but Rhodes with kicks to Bryan. DiBiase tags in and Ted hits a drop kick and he gets a near fall.
Barrett tags in and he punches Bryan in the battle of Season One NXT participants. Barrett with a hard Irish whip for a near fall. Barrett with a chin lock and Bryan with a double sledge to escape. Barrett with a back heel kick to Bryan followed by a pump handle power slam for a near fall.
Barrett and Jackson have some words and then Barrett knocks Cara off the apron. Bryan kicks Barrett and Jackson is tagged in. Jackson punches Barrett and hits a few shoulder tackles. Jackson with an Irish whip and splash into the corner. Jackson with a slam or three. Jackson gets Barrett up for the torture rack but Rhodes and DiBiase break it up. Jackson sends Rhodes and DiBiase over the top rope to the floor. Jackson presses Bryan onto Rhodes and DiBiase.
Jackson with a kick to Barrett and then Cara is tagged in. Cara with a springboard cross body for the three count.
Winners: Daniel Bryan, Sin Cara, and Ezekiel Jackson
We go to commercial.
We are back and Hornswoggle is shooting t-shirts into the crowd.
R Truth comes out and he sees Hornswoggle shooting t-shirts to the Little Jimmys in the crowd and the Little Jennys. That looks like a big ball of fun. Truth says that he likes having fun and he asks Hornswoggle if he can do it because it looks like fun. He tells Hornswoggle that there is nothing to be afraid of because he is a good R Truth. Truth tells Hornswoggle that he is going to beat John Cena on Sunday and become the new WWE Champion.
Truth tells everyone to stop booing him because they should be booing themselves. Truth says that John Cena is not going to stop him from getting what he wants on Sunday and neither is Hornswoggle.
Hornswoggle shoots a t-shirt at Truth and Truth grabs Hornswoggle and he tells Hornswoggle it is going to be okay. Truth smiles so that means that everything is okay. Truth shakes Hornswoggle’s hand and then he kicks Hornswoggle in the head.
Austin is on the TitanTron and he tells Truth to pick on someone his own size . . . like John Morrison. They will be meeting in the ring tonight.
Truth says that John Morrison is going to have to get some of this and this is a kick to Hornswoggle.
We go to commercial.
We are back with a Moments Ago Moment of R Truth kicking Hornswoggle.
Match Number Three: Santino Marella versus Sheamus
Sheamus with a forearm and then he sends Santino into the turnbuckles and Sheamus kicks Santino repeatedly. Sheamus with forearms across the chest and then he hits a running knee lift on the apron. Sheamus gets a near fall.
Sheamus with a cravate on Santino but Santino with punches. Sheamus with a forearm to the back and then he sends Santino into the turnbuckles. Santino punches Sheamus after blocking punches from Sheamus. Santino with a drop toe hold and split but he cannot hip toss Sheamus. Sheamus misses a clothesline and Santino with a hip toss and it is time for the cobra. Sheamus misses the Brogue kick and Santino hits the Cobra but Sheamus kicks out. Sheamus with the Brogue kick and then he puts Santino in a Four Leaf Cloverleaf and Santino taps out.
Winner: Sheamus
It is time for a sneak peak at Suits, which premieres soon on USA.
Randy Orton walks in the back and we go to commercial.
We are back with the video package that opened both hours of last week’s Smackdown.
Randy Orton makes his way to the ring for his long awaited return to Raw, a place he has not wrestled since the end of April. We see footage from last week’s main event between Randy Orton and Sheamus when Christian interfered.
Orton has the cousin of Sin Cara’s trampoline with a defective mic. Orton says that live TV is awesome. Randy takes a page from Alberto Del Rio’s promo book by introducing himself. Orton says that he hasn’t been gone for too long but he says that it feels damn good to be back on Raw. He says that you would think that he feels satisfied because he is the World Heavyweight Champion. He has the opportunity to cause Christian a lot of pain on Sunday. Believe it or not, he is not satisfied. He is not satisfied because he knows that Christian is in this building. Orton wants Christian to come out and he promises not to give Christian an RKO. He just wants to talk.
Orton says that Christian got him because the first chance that he gets he will hurt Christian. Orton tells Christian to be a man or he will go to the back and find Christian himself.
Christian is in the interview area and he says that it must feel bad to stand out there week after week being embarrassed. Christian wants to know why Randy is always so angry since he was born into the WWE. He had everything handed to him on a silver platter. Christian says that he has had to scratch, claw, and fight for everything in the WWE. He says that it was hard work which is something that Orton and the idiots on Long Island wouldn’t know.
Christian wants to poll the crowd and see if they want to see Christian face Randy Orton right now. Christian says that the fans must have confused himself with someone who cares about them.
Randy says that if Edge was here, he could carry Christian to the ring because he did it for seventeen years.
Christian asks if Randy wants to meet him that bad in the ring, he will do it.
Christian walks in the back and he makes his way to the ring with his music playing so there won’t be a sneak attack.
Christian goes halfway down the ramp and then he backs up. Security gets between Orton and Christian when Orton tries to get to Christian.
The Raw General Manager is in fact here so it is a working Flag Day Vacation. Cole says that the General Manager has to get involved. Orton got hit in the skull with the Title belt two weeks in a row and we know that Orton has a concussion. Orton will compete on Sunday, but not tonight. Orton will not face anyone tonight because if Orton got seriously injured, the computer would be liable. The General Manager tells Orton that he should leave and wait until Sunday to get his hands on Christian. If Orton does not comply, Orton will be stripped of the World Title.
Security assumes their TNA security pose by holding up their hands and begging Orton not to do anything as Orton walks to the back.
Austin appears on the TitanTron and he says that Christian escaped an ass kicking from Orton, but he will face Rey Mysterio tonight. Austin pours beer near his mouth as we go to commercial.
We are back and since we have had half the Smackdown wrestlers in matches, we get to hear Booker T on commentary.
It is official. Rey Mysterio will face CM Punk on Sunday at Capitol Punishment.
Match Number Four: Christian versus Rey Mysterio
Christian with a kick and punches to Rey but Rey slides through Christian’s legs and he kicks Christian. Christian sends Rey into the turnbuckles. Rey floats over and then Rey sends Christian into the ropes but Christian gets out of the ropes and he hits a clothesline for a near fall.
Christian with kicks and a slam followed by a neck vice. Rey with elbows to Christian followed by a kick. Rey tries for a springboard move but Christian pushes Rey over the top rope to the floor and we go to commercial.
We are back and Christian with a reverse chin lock on Rey. Rey with elbows to Christian but Christian sends Rey into the turnbuckles and then he chokes Rey in the ropes. The referee calls for the bell because Christian did not break before the five count.
Winner: Rey Mysterio by disqualification
After the match, Christian slams Rey but he takes too long going up top and Rey punches him. Rey tries for a superplex but Christian stops him. Rey with a back body drop that sends Christian to the mat. CM Punk comes out and Rey hits a cross body onto Punk and Punk goes down. Mason ‘AlmosTista’ Ryan, Michael McGillicutty, and David Otunga come out to help Punk.
Meanwhile, Rey sends Christian into the ropes and he knocks McGillicutty and Otunga of the apron. Ryan catches Rey when he tries for the 619 and Ryan sends Rey back first into the ring post and rolls him into the ring.
Nexus V2.0 go up the ramp while Christian hits the Killswitch on Rey.
Steve Austin is on the phone in his office and Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler enter. Vickie Excuse Mes into Austin’s ear. Vickie says that since Austin is in charge, she would like Austin to give Dolph a match against Kofi Kingston on Sunday. Austin says that he likes what Dolph is doing in the ring, but there is a catch. Austin tells Dolph that he has to drop Vickie as his consultant.
Vickie says that won’t happen because he is her project. Austin wants to know if Ziggler is Vickie’s project. Austin says that he had Ted DiBiase with him when he was the Ringmaster. Austin asks Dolph if he wants this match. Can Ziggler do it on his own? Dolph says that he will drop Vickie so Dolph has his match.
Vickie tells Austin that this is her guy. Austin says that he was having fun with them because he already made the match earlier today.
We go to commercial
We are back and we see footage of the genesis of R Truth’s current situation and attitude.
Match Number Five: R Truth versus John Morrison in a Smoke Em if you got em and drinks are on Big Jimmy’s shirt Match
John Morrison does not come out when his music plays. It plays a second time and still no Morrison. Truth wants to know where Morrison is. He says that if you act bad, you better be bad.
Truth says that if Morrison won’t come to him, he will bring the fight to Morrison.
Truth tells Morrison that if he is going to run his mouth like he is bad, he better do something about it.
Truth walks through the back looking for John Morrison. He is ready to fight him. Truth sees John Morrison down in the back and Truth is shocked that Little Jimmy got Johnny.
Truth tells the medical staff to get out of the way. Truth kneels over John and says that the Little Jimmys came to see a good match. Truth asks Morrison about his neck and then he says that the Little Jimmys won’t get to see the match. Truth tells Morrison that he got got by the future WWE Champion. Truth gets cart and he rolls it into Morrison.
We go to commercial.
We are back with a Dolph Ziggler video package before our next match.
Match Number Five (One More Time): Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler with Vickie Guerrero versus Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston in a The Fans wanted Zack Ryder in this Match Match
Ziggler and Kofi start things off and Ziggler with a side head lock and shoulder tackle. Kofi with leap frogs and a back elbow. Swagger hits Kofi from behind and Ziggler gets a near fall. Swagger tags in and he connects with punches to Kofi. The referee warns Swagger and then he puts Kofi in a front face lock. Swagger with a belly-to-belly suplex for a near fall. Swagger runs Kofi into the corner and then the turnbuckles. Swagger with a hard Irish whip to Kofi and then Swagger tries for the Double Jump Swagger Bomb but Kofi gets his boots up.
Bourne tags in and then he hits a head scissors followed by a double knee drop. Bourne with a drop kick to Ziggler followed by a knee and rollup on Swagger for a near fall. Swagger with an ankle lock and he sends Swagger into the corner. Kofi with Trouble in Paradise to Swagger while the referee deals with Ziggler. Bourne goes up top and hits the shooting star press for the three count.
Winners: Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston
We are back with the WWE Rewind: Alex Riley being dressed down by Michael Cole two weeks ago.
It is time for the return of Piper’s Pit and your host Rowdy Roddy Piper.
Piper says that it is so cool and before he gets started, he wants to commemorate one moment. It was right here in this spot 25 years ago that Wrestlemania 2 took place and he dropped Mr. T like a bad habit.
Miz makes his appearance before he is properly introduced by Piper.
Miz throws out a few reallys and wants to know if we are going to do this. Miz talks about his favorite moment in this building and it will be in four years when they tear this building down and replace it with nothing. Miz says that he doesn’t like it when people say that he is the next Roddy Piper.
Piper says that there will never be another Roddy Piper. Piper says that the phrase Miz is looking for is a Roddy Piper wannabe.
Miz says that he is nothing like Piper. Miz says that he has been a WWE Champion, unlike Piper. For another, he won the main event at Wrestlemania. To add to the pile, Miz says that his episodes of the Real World were more interesting than They Live and Miz tells Piper to chew some bubble gum on that.
Piper says that he never watched the Real World because he was busy living in the ‘real world’. Since Miz doesn’t like talking about the past and present, why not talk about the future. On Sunday, Miz will be destroyed for a second time by Alex Riley.
Piper welcomes Riley and he tells Riley that he took a lot of abuse from Miz. Piper wants to know what made Riley think it was too much. Riley says that he didn’t want it to happen this way. Miz was his mentor and he gave him a job. Miz was his friend. Riley says that Miz was always using him to stay WWE Champion. Then it occurred to him. Why help Miz when he can beat him.
Piper gets between Miz and Riley. He asks Riley about when Miz lost the title.
Miz is tired of Piper talking about self respect when he used and abused Bob Orton for years. Miz says that Riley didn’t dump him, he fired Riley.
Miz says that he is not afraid of Riley. Piper starts going Warrior on Miz. Piper says that Riley is going to change the questions on Sunday and Piper says that it will be Aweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesome.
Miz asks Piper if he wants to make it interesting. He asks Piper how much money will he bet that Miz would beat Alex on Sunday.
Riley says that Piper can beat Miz right now.
Miz throws out a really or two and wonders if Piper can beat him now.
Miz says that he will put $1,000 up against Piper right now. Miz says that he will wear a suit. He asks Piper to put up or shut up.
Piper thinks about it and he wants to get this right. He has the guy who just won Wrestlemania 27 against the guy who was in Wrestlemania 1. Piper says that he is really gonna get his butt kicked and then he raised the wager to $5,000.
Austin appears on the TitanTron and he says that sounds good. Austin steals the Teddy Crowd Poll and we have a match and both men are putting up $5,000. The special referee is Alex Riley.
We go to commercial.
Match Number Six: Roddy Piper versus Miz with Guest Referee Alex Riley in a $10,000 Challenge Match to see if Wrestlemania 1 or 27 was Better Match
Miz wants to roll up his sleeves before he locks up and he yells at Riley. That distraction allows Piper to attack him from behind. Piper with punches and a thumb to the eye. Piper with a sleeper and Piper gets on Miz’s back. Miz backs Piper into the corner and Miz kicks Piper. Miz with punches and then Riley throws Miz out of the corner. Miz punches Riley and Riley punches back. Piper with a rollup for the three count.
Winner: Roddy Piper
After the match, Riley throws Miz over the top rope to the floor.
We are back and it is time to see Kelly Kelly and the Bellas on The Price is Right featuring a WWE Hall of Famer.
Match Number Seven: The Bellas, Melina, Maryse, Alicia Fox, Tamina, and Rosa Mendes versus Kelly Kelly, Beth Phoenix, AJ Lee, Rosa Mendes, Kaitlyn, Natalya, and Gail Kim
Kelly and Brie start things off and then Brie tags in Rosa before locking up. Kelly with the Thesz Press and then she slams Rosa’s head into the mat. Kelly spanks Rosa and then she sends Rosa into the turnbuckles and kicks her. Kelly with a Stinkface and then she hits a bulldog but the cover is broken up and there is pandemonium in the ring.
Eventually it clears up and Kelly with a kick and the K2 on Rosa for the three count.
Kelly Kelly, Beth Phoenix, AJ Lee, Rosa Mendes, Kaitlyn, Natalya, and Gail Kim
After the match, Eve Mendes mentions that the Tony Awards were in New York so it is time for a WWE Diva tribute to Broadway. We see a Rockette kick line and one person in the building probably liked it.
It is time to take a look back at the announcement last week that Andy was the winner of Tough Enough, followed by Andy’s welcome to the WWE by Vince McMahon and Steve Austin.
Andy is in the back with Steve Austin. Austin wants to know if Andy is Tough Enough. Austin and Andy have a beer bash in the office. CM Punk enters and he is disgusted with the drinking. Punk wonders how many of Andy’s friends won Tough Enough. Austin wants to deal with Punk by himself.
Austin offers Punk a beer and Punk whats. Austin runs through more types of alcohol and Punk whats. Punk says the whating is annoying. Punk wants to know if Austin can recite the alphabet backwards. Punk says that he is amazed that Austin was able to do one thing right while drunk. He gave Punk a match with John Cena. It is going to change the WWE.
Austin tells Punk that Nexus ain’t allowed at ringside and Punk says that is fine. Punk says that he can get that done. Austin says that he has an announcement to make the world so he has to go.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Steve Austin has an announcement to make, but first he shows that there are some WWE Superstars who can drink and drive as the Stone Cold ATV is driven to the ring by Austin.
Austin says that this has been a hell of a Monday Night Raw. He is having a fun time coming back to Nassau Coliseum. Austin is interrupted by the Raw General Manager.
Cole sheepishly goes to read the e-mail from the General Manager and Austin is not a happy camper. Cole says that Steve Austin did a fair job in his absence this week. However, all good things must come to an end. To make sure that everyone is aware, it will be back next week on Raw.
Austin says that he has some time left as General Manager and he has an announcement as GM. Next week will be another three hour show and next week will be all about the Power of the People. The people will make all of the matches and stipulations for next week.
The General Manager chimes in and Austin threatens to whoop Cole’s ass if the computer dingy dings again. It keeps dinging and Austin throws down the podium and Austin wants a beer for him and the General Manager. Time for some drunk texting with the General Manager. Austin drives over the General Manager and then he backs over it for good measure.
Austin is back in the ring and it is time for more beer and stuff.
Austin walks to the back and then he takes half of the General Manager to the back with him but then he throws it to the floor.
Jerry Lawler has a dream about Capitol Punishment.
Booker and Lawler wake up from their dream.
We go to commercial.
We are back and Did You Know they haven’t changed the Did You Know graphic since last Tuesday?
Match Number Eight: CM Punk versus John Cena
Punk with a waist lock but Cena knocks Punk off by going to the ropes. Punk with a side head lock and take down. Cena gets back to his feet and Punk with a shoulder tackle. Punk goes for the Go To Sleep and Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment and then they retreat to their opposite corners. Punk with forearms but Cena with an Irish whip. Punk drops Cena on the top rope.
Punk kicks Cena to the floor and we go to commercial.
We are back and Cena with punches but Punk with an abdominal stretch on Cena. Cena with a hip toss to get out of the hold. Cena goes to the floor and Punk tries for a pescado and he hits it.
Punk goes up top this time and in honor of Randy Savage he hits a double sledge. Punk mocks Cena and the ‘You Can’t See Me’ before they return to the ring and Punk gets a near fall. Punk with a body scissors and chin lock but Cena gets out of the chin lock and then he pulls Punk’s legs apart and he tries for the STF and Punk gets to the ropes.
Punk gets a near fall on Cena and then he kicks Cena in the shoulder. Punk punches Cena in the ribs followed by a knee as he returns to that body part. Punk follows that with a hard Irish whip and Punk hits the turnbuckles in the sternum. Punk with crossfaces to Cena and then he hits a splash onto Cena’s back and Punk gets a near fall.
Punk with an Irish whip followed by a running knee and bulldog but Cena is able to minimize the impact by pushing Punk away. Punk misses a clothesline but Punk knows that Cena is getting ready for the Legendary Sequence and he ducks the first of the two flying shoulder tackles.
Cena rolls back in at eight and Punk kicks Cena but the referee pulls Punk off Cena. Punk with a snap mare for a near fall. Punk thinks about his next move and he eventually goes to the apron for the springboard clothesline but Cena sees it coming and Punk lands on his side and struggles to get up but so does Cena.
They get back to their feet and Cena goes for the Legendary Sequence with the two shoulder tackles and a Blue Thunder Driver. Before Cena can hit the Five Knuckle Shuffle, R Truth enters the crowd and he finds a little Jimmy and he trades a hat for some water.
Meanwhile, back in the ring, CM Punk hits Go To Sleep and gets the three count.
Winner: CM Punk
After the match, R Truth in his Little Jimmy Hat enters the ring. Truth hits Cena with the plastic water bottle and then he hits Shut Up.
Truth takes the WWE Title belt and he stands over Cena and tells Cena that on Sunday he is going to beat Cena for the WWE Championship and that’s the truth.
Truth leaves the ring with the belt as we go to credits.
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