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COMPLETE WRESTLEMANIA 27 REPORT

By Stuart Carapola on 2011-04-03 19:42:00
The Corre vs Big Show, Kofi Kingston, Santino Marella & Kofi Kingston

Santino and Slater start, and Slater decks Santino in the face and sits on his chest nailing punches. Santino ducks a clothesline with a split and hiptosses Slater, then the Big Show tags in and destroys Slater, splashing him in the corner and running him over with a shoulderblock. Zeke comes in and lays Show out with a clothesline, then one person after another comes in and hits a big move until Kofi wipes the Corre out with a dive off the apron. Santino hits the Cobra on Slater, and Big Show hits the knockout punch to put Slater down for the count.

Winners: Big Show, Kane, Santino Marella & Kofi Kingston

Well, that was short! Match lasted all of about two minutes.

We go backstage to the Rock with Eve Torres. Eve feels his muscles, and then tells Rock how magical Wrestlemania has been. Rock wants Eve to know that he creates magical moments just like that, and says that whoever comes around that corner, he'll create an unforgettable moment with whoever it is. Rock turns around and it's...who else, Mae Young! Mae tells Rock that she wants the People's Strudel, and Rock says there should be other strudels from people she should be craving, like Moses. Rock introduces Mae and Eve, like her childhood friends Adam and Eve. Mae says not to make jokes because she's the one and only Mae Young, so Rock asks Eve to escort Mae to her seat to enjoy the rest of the show. Mae slaps Rock on the ass on her way out, and Rock says it couldn't have been anyone else coming around the corner. He turns around again and it's Steve Austin. They go face to face and Rock asks if he's ready to kick some ass tonight, and Rock says he's here to bring it. They share a tense handshake and then walk off separately. That was a GREAT moment.

CM Punk vs Randy Orton

Punk goes right after the bad leg, but Orton shuts him down and lays him out with a European uppercut and a running clothesline. A second clothesline sends Punk to the outside, and Orton goes after him for more European uppercuts. Orton tries to whip Punk into the steps, but Punk vaults over them and then quickly turns around and rams the steps into Orton's bad leg. Punk goes up top and hits a flying bodypress for 2, but Orton gets his over the back neckbreaker and tries a kick, but Punk catches it and hyperextends it over his shoulder, lays one more kick into the leg for good measure, and covers for 1. Punk ties Orton's leg in the ropes and puts the knees to it, then backs up and hits the climbing knee and springs off the ropes for a kneedrop just for good measure. Punk hangs Orton upside down in the corner and goes up top and kneedrops Orton in the chest. Punk covers but only gets 2, so he signals that it's time for Orton to Go To Sleep. Punk gets him up, but takes too long and Orton elbows his way out and goes for the RKO, but Punk hits a high kick to the face and covers for 2. Punk goes up top and points to the sky Randy Savage style, but Orton pops up and crotches Punk on the top rope. He spends 20 or 30 minutes staring around at the fans before going up and hitting a superplex. Orton makes the cover and gets 2, but Punk quickly goes out to the floor and drags Orton to the corner, rams his leg into the post several times, then does the Bret Hart ringpost figure four. Punk gets back in the ring and locks Orton into an Indian Deathlock while hitting double axhandles on Orton's knee. Punk pulls the kneepad and bandage off of Orton's knee, but Orton breaks free by headbutting Punk and then starts nailing him with clotheslines and a snap powerslam. Orton with a Thesz Press and an Angle Slam gets 2, then pulls Punk to his feet and Punk fires off with a series of kicks and sweeps Orton's legs out from under him, then quickly hooks the Anaconda Vice right in the middle of the ring. Orton makes the ropes, then rams Punk to the corner and hits the DDT off the ropes. Orton sets up for the RKO, but Punk's not moving so Orton gets to his feet and sets up for the punt, but his leg goes out from under him. Punk looks up and smiles, then pulls himself to his feet and goes over to Orton, and Orton goes for the RKO but Punk instantaneously dives out to the apron. Punk looks around with his "what a relief" look on his face, then goes for a springboard into the ring and Orton catches him in the RKO for the win.

Winner: Randy Orton

The psychology in this match was excellent!

We go backstage to Rock and Mean Gene, who says this Wrestlemania is great. Rock says that he hear's John Cena's biggest fan ins here and wants to confront Rock. Gene says he's already here, and Rock turns around and comes face to face with the fan, and says he should have known. The camera pans wide and we see that Rock is face to face with Pee Wee Herman, who does you can't see me at Rock. Rock asks if he realizes how ridiculous he looks doing all that and says Pee Wee has potential to be a real man. Rock asks if he wants to be a man with Team Bring It, or if he wants to join the Froot Loop Troop. Gene comes in wearing John Cena gear, and Pee Wee says he wants to be on Team Bring It, so Rock tells him he knows what he has to do, so Pee Wee asks if you SMELLLLLLLLLLLALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA WHAT THE PEE IS COOKIN'.

Commercial for the True Story Of Wrestlemania DVD set, featuring comments from all kinds of people like Vince, Triple H, Chris Jericho, and others.

Now we do the introduction of the Hall Of Fame inductees, with Shawn Michaels getting his own introduction with his entrance music and everything.

They introduce the announcers for the following match: Booker T and...that's right, Jim Ross! Michael Cole comes out dressed in amateur wrestling attire and says it's nice to see Jim Ross has stayed in shape since he took his job. Cole says Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler have a lot in common: they're both overweight, they're both overrated, and they're both over the hill. Cole says that Jerry Lawler's been in the business as long as Cole has been alive, but this is Lawler's first Wrestlemania match, but he wants all the Coleminers to know that this is his first Wrestlemania match as well. Once this match is over, Jim Ross is going to go back to making really bad barbecue sauce, Jerry Lawler's going to go back to being overrated, and Austin's going to raise his hand, and then everyone will proclaim Cole the new Mr Wrestlemania!

Next we get the introduction of Jack Swagger, who makes his usual entrance, but before he makes it to the ring, Steve Austin's music hits and he comes out on the ATV and rushes Swagger, who dives out of the way. Austin goes all around the ring on the ATV, and Cole also dives out of the way and hides in his box. Austin rolls up and tells Cole to get in the ring, then gets in the ring and goes to all four corners to soak in the cheers as Cole loosens up in the box.

Jerry Lawler makes his entrance next, wearing the old school red cape with the buckle in front and carrying his crown. Cole is doing squats in the box and yells to Austin that he's not ready yet. Austin rings the bell, and we're off.

Jerry Lawler vs Michael Cole

Lawler goes to the floor and Swagger immediately goes after him, but Lawler beats him up and rams him into the barricade. Lawler goes after Cole, and Cole stays in the box and begs for mercy. Cole extends his hand through the hole in the cubicle to try and forget the whole thing, and Lawler shakes his hand. Cole thanks Lawler profusely, but Lawler won't let go and repeatedly pulls Cole's face into the wall of the box. Lawler climbs over the top of the Colemine and proceeds to beat Cole senseless. Cole tries to climb out, but Lawler grabs him and punches him in the face, then takes Cole out of the box and starts to roll him into the ring, but changes his mind and rams him into the General Manager podium as Austin stands smiling in the ring. Finally Lawler rolls Cole into the ring, but Swagger takes the opportunity to grab Lawler and ram him into the post. Cole hits a baseball slide and goes to distract Austin while Swagger puts Lawler in the anklelock on the floor. Cole tells Austin to count Lawler out, and Austin starts counting reluctantly but Lawler gets in at 4. Cole goes to work on Lawler's ankle by standing on it and then tying the leg around the bottom rope. Cole lays Lawler's leg on the bottom rope and then takes a running punt at the ankle, then does it again. Cole drags Lawler to the corner and then goes across the ring to do a really bad version of the Swagger Bomb and then covers Lawler for 2. Lawler finally starts firing back on Cole but Cole drags Lawler out to the middle of the ring and starts slamming Lawler's leg into the mat. Cole stops to soak in the boos of the fans before going back to ramming the leg into the mat. Cole pulls down the strap and hooks Lawler into the an-Cole-lock, but Lawler kicks Cole off and finally gets back to his feet. Lawler starts stomping a mudhole in Cole in the corner and Swagger throws the towel in, but Austin looks at Swagger incredulously, wipes his head off with the towel, and throws it at Swagger. Swagger gets in the ring and gets in Austin's face, so Austin kicks him in the gut, hits the Stunner, and flips Swagger the double bird. Austin and Lawler stand over Cole as Cole begs Austin for mercy, then starts yelling at Austin and shoving him. Austin shoves Cole back and Cole spins around right into a right hand from Lawler. Lawler starts unloading on Cole with endless right hands, then lets him get to his feet so he can dropkick him in the face. Lawler stands over Cole before nodding at the fans, going to the second rope, pulling down the strap, and hitting the fistdrop. Lawler goes for the cover, but pulls him up at 2 and, with a smiling Austin looking on, hooks on the an-Cole-lock. Cole is furiously tapping out, but Austin gets down and goes "Cole, DO YOU QUIT?" as Cole goes nuts tapping with both hands. Austin looks to Lawler for approval, then rings the bell.

Winner: Jerry Lawler

Lawler's music starts to play, then Austin's music hits and Austin catches the beers for a beer bash. Booker T says he has to get in on this and gets in the ring to celebrate. The music stops as Booker gets in the ring, then Booker's music hits as he does the Spinarooni. Austin smiles a big smile and tosses beer to Booker, then kicks him in the gut and hits the Stunner. Austin's music hits again, and it's back to the beer bash...until the General Manager sends an email. Josh Matthews goes up to the podium, opens the laptop, and says that the referee has overstepped his authority by getting physically involved in the match. Therefore, Jerry Lawler has been disqualified and the winner is Michael Cole!

New Winner: Michael Cole by disqualification

Lawler goes over to the podium to ask what's going on, and Matthews says he's just reading the email. Crowd chants bulls*** as Austin throws his beer in anger. Lawler drags Josh off the podium and throws him into the ring where Austin gives Matthews a Stunner. Austin takes his beer out to the ATV and rides to the back as Lawler returns to his position at the announce table.

We see a video package recapping some of the events of Wrestlemania weekend at Axxess, the Wrestlemania golf tournament, a reading competition at a library, and to the state senate house for a declaration of this becoming Wrestlemania weekend, and finally an art raffle.

Undertaker and Triple H are up next on Page 3!


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