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Match Number Four: Undertaker versus Randy ‘Dreamscape’ Orton in a Superstar of the Year Tournament Match
They lock up and Orton with a side head lock but Taker with a shoulder tackle. Taker works on the shoulder as he sets up for Old School. Orton pulls Taker off the turnbuckles and Orton stomps on Taker’s chest. Orton with more punches as he mounts Taker in a viperous manner. Orton punches Taker in the corner but Taker punches back. Orton and Taker exchange punches until Taker gets the advantage. Taker with an Irish whip and splash into the corner. Taker with snake eyes and a big boot followed by a leg drop of Death Valley for a near fall. Taker sets for the choke slam but Orton with a kick and punches. Orton clotheslines Taker over the top rope but Taker lands on his feet and he pulls Orton to the floor. Taker goes for the vintage leg drop on the apron. Taker walks up the ramp to stop Rhodes and DiBiase from advancing any further. Maybe they did not plan to attack Taker because the delay allows Orton to recover long enough to hit an RKO and then he gets into the ring before the referee’s ten count.
Winner: Randy Orton by count out
After the match, Rhodes and DiBiase attack Taker in the ring but Taker grabs DiBiase and Rhodes by the throat and sends them over the top rope to the floor. Taker hits a choke slam on Orton and then he forces the referee out of the ring. Taker looks at Rhodes and DiBiase.
We go to commercial.
We are back with another Slammy Award presentation and this time it is for Dennis Miller to agree that this has been a bit tedious. It is time for the Guest Host of the Year Slammy and Vince McMahon is here to present it. Vince talks about his vision for guest hosts. Vince says that some have been better than others and Vince looks at tonight’s guest host. Vince says the audience has been lousy. The nominees are: Bob Barker; Seth Green; Shaquille O’Neal; and The Osbournes. The winner is Bob Barker. We go to a pre-recorded message from Bob and he thanks everyone for the award.
Vince asks Dennis who he would suggest to be a guest host. Dennis throws out a curveball and mentions Bret Hart. Vince says that Bret screwed himself the last time he was in WWE. Dennis asks the fans if they would want it.
We go to commercial.
Dennis is in his office and he is interrupted by Chris Jericho on the phone. Jericho says that he brings a lot to the table. He thanks Dennis for showing him some respect. He knows that Dennis can cancel the rematch, but he knows that Dennis is aware of the power. Dennis says that Jericho’s whining is a sign that people think the world revolves around him. Dennis says that Jericho is an energy black hole that sucks the vibe out of the show. He compares Jericho to Kanye West. Dennis says that he is keeping the match on the show because he wants to keep Jericho off Monday Night Raw. Jericho says that he is going to prove Dennis and the rest of the hypocrites wrong.
Dennis is back on the phone and he says that it was just Jericho whining again.
We see photos from the end of the main event from last night’s pay per view before our rematch.
Match Number Five: Degeneration X versus Slammy Award Winning Tag Team of the Year Chris Jericho and Big Show in a Unified Tag Title Match
Jericho and Hunter start things off and then Michaels gets behind the referee and Hunter pushes the referee down. The referee calls for the bell.
Winners: Chris Jericho and Big Show by disqualification
After the match, Shawn gets on the mic and wants to know why Hunter cost them the match. Shawn points out that the titles don’t change hands on a disqualification. Hunter apologizes for costing them the match and the winner’s prize money. It was also the one rematch that Jericho gets. Shawn says that it is horrible to be Jericho because now Jericho isn’t supposed to be in a Raw ring. Shawn says that Jericho is trespassing. Hunter wonders if there is anyone who would be able to get Jericho out of the ring and band together. Wrestlers from all three brands come out in DX gear (that I hope they paid for because if not, they are getting cease and desist letters).
Michaels with Sweet Chin Music and Jericho rolls to the apron and then he goes to the floor and he is not smiling any more. Jericho says that he wants to stay on Raw and have it done right.
We go to the back where Jericho is being forced to leave the building. Jericho throws a fit and he is pushed out of the building while the Smackdown and ECW members of the mob stay in the building.
We are back with another award and Carlito, Eve, and Chris Masters are out to present the next award. Masters makes this segment a pectacular. They are out to present the Extreme Moment of the Year. Carlito tells Masters to stop doing his pec dance and says that he can do it too. Carlito asks Eve if she can do it too. Eve tells Carlito that he will never find out. The nominees are: Kofi Kingston’s attack on Randy Orton in Madison Square Garden; Big Show sends John Cena through a light; Jeff Hardy with a swanton through a table from a big ladder; Triple H attacking Randy Orton and his vapid ‘wife’ at Orton’s house.
The winner is Jeff Hardy hitting the Swanton from Summerslam. Accepting the award is Matt Hardy. Matt says that it is really cool. He says that Jeff is very honored and he wants to thank everyone. Carlito wants to know why Matt is accepting the award. Carlito stops Matt’s speech by punching Matt. Carlito accepts the award on his behalf and he thanks Jesus, the Academy, and Team Jacob. He also thanks Puerto Rico and himself. Master puts Carlito in the Master Lock and then Hardy punches Carlito.
We go to commercial.
We are back and it is time to see the trailer for Marine 2 starring Ted DiBiase (sometimes Junior).
Match Number Six: The Miz, Zack Ryder, and Drew McIntyre versus John Morrison, Yoshi Tatsu, and Mark Henry
Henry and Miz start things off but McIntyre distracts Henry and Miz attacks Henry from behind. Henry presses Miz over his head and drops him like the Ultimate Warrior. Henry works on the arm and he tags in Morrison who goes after his former tag team partner with a double sledge from the turnbuckles and a side Russian leg sweep and standing shooting star press for a near fall. Miz with a punch and McIntyre is tagged in. Morrison with a double leg take down and he punches McIntyre but McIntyre punches back. Morrison tries for the Shining Wizard but McIntyre moves and Ryder tags in. Ryder wants Yoshi into the match and Yoshi blocks a kick and he puts Ryder in a side head lock. Yoshi with a shoulder tackle and they go to a stalemate. Ryder woo woo woos but Yoshi kicks Ryder in the head for the three count.
Winners: Mark Henry, Yoshi Tatsu, and John Morrison
After the match, Yoshi acts like he won a Slammy for Breakout Star of the Year.
We see Divas walking in the back as we go to commercial.
Match Number Seven: Kelly Kelly, Maria, The Bellas, Gail Kim, Mickie James, and Melina versus Michelle McCool, Layla, Rosa Mendes, Natalya, Beth Phoenix, Alicia Fox, and Maryse
There is some bickering before the match as the Project Runway championship is going to be determined.
Rosa and Mickie start things off and Rosa sends Mickie to the mat and then she mounts Mickie and slams her head into the mat. Rosa slaps Mickie but Mickie with a punch. Rosa sends Mickie into the turnbuckles but Mickie with a kick and head scissors. Mickie with a kick and Implant DDT for the three count.
Winners: Mickie James, The Bellas, Kelly Kelly, Maria, Gail Kim, and Melina
Out to present the next award are the Odd Couple of Montel Vontavious Porter and Goldust. They are out to present Diva of the Year. Goldust suggests that since he acts like a diva at times, he should take the award. Goldust throws out a PMS reference. The winner is Maria.
Maria thanks the WWE Universe for all of their support. Batista West comes out and he talks about the screwjob of the year award. He says that he was screwed out of the title last night and he should be Superstar of the Year. Batista is escorted from the stage by Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker and the rest of the State Patrol and we go to commercial.
We are back and Dennis has been released from protective custody to introduce the next presenters and he probably wishes he was thrown in jail with Batista because it is Abraham Washington, Tony Atlas, and Big Dick Johnson. Tony laughs while Johnson dances and Abe is the reasonable one. It is the Oh My Moment of the Year: Chris Masters and his Pectacular; Shawn Michaels superkicks a girl; Michael Cole getting sick at the 10th Anniversary Superstar; Santino hitting Vickie with a pie.
The ‘winner’ is anyone who was not watching this segment. The Slammy goes to Michael Cole and his regurgitorial ability. Cole celebrates like he won a Pulitzer for War Coverage. He celebrates with Big Dick Johnson. Cole says that Slobberknocker is passé because it is a vintage time. Cole gets the cheap pop of the night for insulting Oklahoma and supporting Texas.
Dennis Miller returns and he expresses what everyone else thinks about Big Dick Johnson. Dennis mentions USA Cares again and he says that the next Slammy will be awarded after the next match.
We are back with a DX holiday merchandise promo. The Elimination Chamber segment is replaced with a new ring structure and no box jokes but Hunter destroys the ring. Time for the breakdown. Hunter has a DX snuggie for Shawn. Hornswoggle returns and he grunts and gives them a gift. They get gift cards and Hunter gets a Triple H one. Hunter sees the shirt and he says that even though he got gifts for them, Hornswoggle is not off the hook. Shawn and Hunter go after Hornswoggle but Hornswoggle escapes.
Next week’s guest host is Johnny Damon and he will have some Secret Santas.
Match Number Eight: Randy ‘Anaconda’ Orton versus John Cena in a Superstar of the Year Finals Match and Step One of the John Cena I’m Not Losing Again Until I Win the Title Again Tour
Cena punches Orton and slams his head into the turnbuckles. Cena with an Irish whip and kick followed by a fisherman’s suplex and a near fall. Cena punches Orton in the corner and then he slams Orton followed by an elbow drop for a near fall. Cena with an Irish whip and he tries for the bulldog but Orton sends Cena to the floor. Orton goes out after Cena and he connects with a European uppercut and then he sends Cena into the ring post. Orton rolls Cena back into the ring and he gets a near fall. Orton with boots to Cena and then he walks around before he stomps on Cena’s lower abdomen. Orton with a knee drop to the head. Orton kicks Cena in the corner and the referee tries to pull Orton away. Cena with a leap frog neck breaker and then he goes up top for the leg drop and hits it and gets a two count. Orton with a neck breaker and then he stands over Cena before he punches Cena in the head. Cena with a rollup when Orton takes too long between punches. Orton with a clothesline for a near fall.
Orton with the Garvin (who according to Buck, never beat Andre) Stomp followed by the leaping knee drop. Cena with the two flying shoulder tackles followed by the Blue Thunder Bomb and it is time for the third move of the Moves of Doom, the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena gets Orton up for the Attitude Adjustment but Orton escapes. Orton tries for an RKO but Cena escapes. Cena with an STF attempt but Orton escapes that. Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment but Orotn has his hand on the rope. Orton rolls to the floor and then he hits the IEDDT from the apron and both men are down. Orton thinks about the field goal but he rolls Cena back in and gets a near fall as Cena uses the power of the sun to kick out. Orton lines up and he tries for the field goal but Cena acts like Lucy and pulls the ball away. Cena with the Attitude Adjustment for the three count.
Winner: John Cena
After the match, Sheamus comes out with his title belt and Cena wants Sheamus to come to the ring but Sheamus is not going to do what the former champion says.
We go to credits. That is Raw, and I am out of here (thanks Devin in the chat room for the suggestion for the finish)
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