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THE SMACKDOWN REPORT

Since the Raw brand has their pay per view on Sunday, the next Sunday evening offering from the Smackdown brand will be the Royal Rumble. It is time to start the road to the Rumble as we try to determine who will face Batista for the title. Last week, Teddy Long announced the Smackdown Sprint to determine the man who would face Batista at the Royal Rumble. What is the next salvo to be fired by Bradshaw as he continues to berate General Manager Teddy Long for what happened to Montel Vontavious Porter at Armageddon? What is next for Vickie Guerrero now that Chavo is no longer at her side? Who is next for the Boogeyman? Will we see the Miz or will the new year start off on a high note?

We are live on tape from Lakeland, Florida and your announcers are Michael ‘Latinos’ Cole and John ‘Where is the mechanical bull in this building’ Layfield.

Teddy Long is in the ring and he announces that they are going to kick off the Beat the Clock Sprint. There will be 16 Smackdown superstars in a series of matches over the next two weeks. The matches are selected at random. Nobody will know who they are facing. The superstar who wins his match in the fastest time will beat the clock and move on to the Royal Rumble to get a chance at the World Title. Teddy Long brings out Batista. 

Batista goes over the rules that Teddy Long said about the Beat the Clock Sprint and he says that he loves it. He says that he did not want to be a paper champion. He wants to be in the ring with the best. He fought hard to win the title, and he fought harder to win it back. He will fight to keep the title. He will meet the man with the fastest time at the Royal Rumble.

Teddy brings out the first participant in the Smackdown Sprint, and it is Kane. We go to commercial.

Match Number One: Kane versus Chavo Guerrero in a Beat the Clock Sprint Match
Chavo kicks Kane in the leg after avoiding a collar and elbow tie up, but Kane responds with an uppercut that knocks Chavo down. Kane slams Chavo’s head into the turnbuckle followed by a punch and hard Irish whip. Kane charges at Chavo, but Chavo avoids Kane and tries for a rollup but Kane holds on to the ropes and he kicks Chavo. Kane punches Chavo but Chavo tries for a sunset flip and he is able to get a two count. Chavo with a drop kick and cover, but Kane sends Chavo out of the ring when he kicks out. Chavo tries to pull Kane out of the ring, but Chavo is hip tossed back into the ring. Kane with a slam followed by a leg drop. Kane with a kick and punch in the corner followed by a clothesline and press slam. Kane sets for the choke slam, but Chavo goes outside the ring to regroup. Kane follows after Chavo on the floor and he connects with an uppercut. Chavo with a kick and then he tries to Irish whip Kane, but Kane holds on to the top rope and he sends Chavo over the top rope to the floor. Kane goes out after Chavo and Chavo with a drop toe hold that sends Kane into the ring steps. Chavo gets into the ring and he tells the referee to start his count. Kane is able to get into the ring at nine to stop the count. Chavo kicks Kane and then he hits a drop kick to Kane’s back. Chavo chokes Kane in the ropes and then he gets a two count with help from the ropes. Chavo with a triangle choke, but Kane gets to his feet and he hits an electric chair drop. Kane tosses Chavo into the air and face first into the mat. Kane with a kick and he sets up for a suplex, but Chavo counters with a DDT for a two count. Chavo yells at the referee and Kane sits up. Kane with a big boot and then he punches Chavo. Kane with an Irish whip and two running clotheslines. Kane follows that with a side slam and then he goes up top for the clothesline but Chavo gets his foot on the rope to stop the referee’s count. Kane sets for the choke slam but Chavo with kicks to the knee. Kane with a back body drop. Kane charges into a boot from Chavo and then Chavo goes up top. Kane goes up as well, but Chavo rakes Kane’s eyes and Kane goes to the mat. Chavo hits the frog splash but Kane grabs Chavo by the throat and he hits a choke slam for the three count. We go to commercial.
Winner: Kane (7:53)

We are back and Maryse is in lingerie on a bed as she welcomes us back to Smackdown.

We see Johnny Damon in the front row with his son.

Match Number Two: Paul London versus Brian Kendrick in a Beat the Clock Sprint Match
Before the match, Paul and Brian shake hands. London and Kendrick try for the quick victory with rollups, but neither is able to get the three count. Kendrick with a side head lock and London reverses. London with a shoulder tackle for a two count when Kendrick bridges out of the cover. Kendrick with an arm bar into a wrist lock. We see Batista watching the match in the locker room. London with an arm bar into a side head lock and take down. Kendrick with a head scissors but London escapes the hold. Kendrick with a side head lock take down. Kendrick counters a hip toss attempt by London with a back slide for a two count. Kendrick with another near fall, but London with a near fall of his own. Kendrick and London with a knuckle lock and Kendrick gets the advantage, but London with a bridge to avoid being pinned. London is able to gain the advantage and he gets Kendrick in a double underhook, but Kendrick with a back body drop for a two count. London holds on to the double underhook. London gets Kendrick up for a power bomb, but Kendrick counters with a sunset flip but London rolls through to get a two count. Kendrick with a side head lock but London powers out of the hold and then he charges at Kendrick in the corner, but Brian is able to get to the apron to avoid his tag team partner. Kendrick tries a springboard move back into the ring but London blocks it. London with a hip toss that brings Kendrick back into the ring and Kendrick lands on his feet. Kendrick with a waist lock and London runs into the ropes and that sends Kendrick to the floor. London goes outside the ring but Kendrick goes inside as London goes out. They return to the ring and Kendrick with a front face lock into a side head lock. Both men try for cross body blocks and both men go down. Kendrick with a forearm and London responds with a forearm of his own. They continue to alternate forearms and Kendrick hits a running forearm. London with a rollup and Kendrick counters. Both men continue to counter until they roll through and Kendrick is sent outside the ring. London with a slingshot Oklahoma roll for a two count. Kendrick with a side head lock take down. Kendrick with a rana for a two count and London gets a two count as well. London gets another two count. London sends Kendrick to the apron and both men hit forearms at the same time. Kendrick falls to the floor and London falls to the mat as time runs out.
Winner: Time Limit

After the match, Ashley jogs to ringside to check on Kendrick. All three get into the ring as Ashley checks on London. She holds up both men’s hands and then they have a group hug. We go to commercial.

We are back and Bradshaw is in the ring. He reiterates to everyone his disdain and disgust with what happened to MVP in the Inferno Match at Armageddon. He says that the brightest star in wrestling was standing in front of them. They had perfection in front of them for everyone to vicariously live through. However, that perfection made everyone look into their souls to realize how pathetic they are that they wanted it destroyed. Teddy Long potentially destroyed the brightest light that Smackdown ever saw. He was the MVP of all of sports entertainment. Generations of wrestlers destroyed because some sick individuals wanted to see somebody burned. He knows that Teddy Long is watching this with his sick mind who wants to go home to hear everyone tell him that he is doing a great job instead of doing the right thing. We see the footage from Armageddon and Bradshaw says that he can still smell the burning flesh. He says that this is not entertainment, but the people still cheer. He calls it sickening. Bradshaw shows us photos of MVP getting those burns treated earlier today. Bradshaw tells the fans to cheer the third degree burns on MVP’s back. It is because the people could not be as good as MVP. 

Montel Vontavious Porter walks gingerly to the ring. He takes the mic and he thanks Bradshaw for representing him over the last few weeks when he was unable to do so on his own. He says that he would have preferred to address the Smackdown audience himself, but due to the severity of the burns, he was confined to a bed in the hospital. The burns were so severe that he had 24 hour medical attention. He says that he could not do anything himself. They had to dress him, feed him, and bathe him. He could not go to the bathroom by himself. When he was laying in the hospital bed, he was watching Smackdown and he heard Teddy Long announce the Beat the Clock Sprint. It was at that moment that he had to stop feeling sorry for himself and get out of his bed to start the healing process. The pain and suffering that he has been enduring would pale in comparison to the pain if he could not fulfill his destiny of becoming the World Champion. He asks Teddy if he knows what he did to MVP. Every day in the hospital depraved him of his livelihood. In addition, he deprived him of his manhood. The worst thing Teddy Long did was almost deprive the Smackdown fans from seeing their beloved MVP become the World Champion. He tells Teddy that he is rehabbing and he will be in competitive shape so if he is called for the Beat the Clock Sprint, he will beat the clock and he will go to the Royal Rumble and beat Batista to become the World Champion. Porter leaves the ring and gingerly walks to the back as we go to commercial.

We are back and Queen Sharmell is in the ring. She tells everyone to rise for the man who should not have to compete in the Beat the Clock Sprint, King Booker. She hails King Booker as he comes to the ring.

Match Number Three: King Booker versus Gregory Helms in a Beat the Clock Sprint Match
Helms with kicks and punches to Booker followed by an Irish whip, but he runs into a clothesline. Booker with chops in the corner followed by a slam. We see Batista watching from the locker room while Booker hits an elbow drop. Booker with a chop to Helms followed by a suplex attempt, but Helms lands on his feet and he punches Booker. Booker with a spinebuster to Helms for a two count. Booker with a super kick but he can only get a two count. Booker chops and punches Helms in the corner but Helms punches back. Booker with a thumb to the eye to regain the advantage. Helms with a flying forearm for a two count. Helms kicks Booker and then he chops Booker and puts Booker’s leg in the ropes to work on the knee. Helms with a rollup for a two count. Helms slams Booker’s head into the turnbuckles. Helms punches Booker in the corner but Booker with a hot shot. Booker with a back heel kick but he can only get a two count. Booker with a chop to Helms followed by an Irish whip, but he charges into an elbow from Helms. Helms with a drop kick from the second turnbuckle for a two count and then Helms punches Booker. Helms goes up top and hits a cross body for a two count. Helms tries to get Booker up, but Booker gets out of the hold. Booker misses a scissors kick. Helms with a clip to Booker, but Sharmell grabs Helms’s leg while the referee checks on Booker. Booker with a jumping leg lariat followed by the scissors kick for the three count.
Winner: King Booker (6:24)

After the match, King Booker and Queen Sharmell head to the back and then the building gets red as the Boogeyman makes his way into the ring. Helms begs for mercy but the Boogeyman will have none of that as he lifts Helms up in a vertical choke followed by a spinebuster. Boogeyman gets some worms and it is time to feed Helms. We go to commercial.

We are back and Michael Cole talks about Batista’s comments earlier tonight about the Beat the Clock Sprint. It is time to see a video package showing the ‘Evolution of The Animal’. It starts off with a look at Batista being a part of Evolution; Batista challenging Triple H for the World Title at Wrestlemania 21; Mark Henry injuring Batista this past January; and Batista having to surrender the World Title. Cole tells us that we will see more next week on Batista including his quest to get the title back.

Ashley and Layla are in the locker room and Ashley is stretching for her match. Layla gives Ashley her hat and wishes her luck as we go to commercial.

We are back and as Jillian comes to the ring, we hear comments from her. She says that she is the most talented Diva on Smackdown and she didn’t even have to win a contest. She says that Ashley will find out how talented Jillian is when she rips her face apart. Then she will never get a chance to be on the cover of Playboy.

Match Number Four: Ashley Massaro versus Jillian Hall
Jillian with a kick to Ashley’s midsection and then she sends Ashley to the mat. Jillian chokes Ashley while she verbally torments Ashley. Ashley with a punch, but Jillian slams Ashley to the mat again. Ashley with forearms, but Jillian responds with a knee to the face and then she smothers Ashley. Jillian slaps Ashley in the corner, but Ashley slaps her back. Jillian chokes Ashley in the corner and then she slams Ashley. Jillian with an Irish whip, but she charges into an elbow. Ashley with a head scissors to Jillian followed by a forearm and clothesline. Ashley with a tilt-a-whirl head scissors and tries for a rana, but Jillian counters with a power bomb for a two count. Jillian with a slam, but Ashley holds on and gets the three count with a small package. We go to commercial.
Winner: Ashley Massaro

We are back and Maryse takes time out of her bubble bath to welcome us back to Smackdown.

Match Number Five: Jimmy Wang Yang versus Tatanka in a Beat the Clock Sprint Match
Tatanka punches Yang, but Yang chops back. Tatanka with a chop to Yang. Yang with a rollup for a two count followed by an inside cradle. Yang with a swinging neckbreaker for a two count. Yang with a rear chin lock into a sleeper with a body scissors. Tatanka gets to his feet and backs Yang into the ropes. Tatanka with an elbow and punch. Tatanka picks up Yang and press slams him to the floor. Tatanka goes out after Yang and then rolls him back into the ring and gets a two count. Tatanka with a hard Irish whip for a two count. Tatanka with a gutwrench suplex for a two count. Tatanka looks at the clock and then he chops Yang followed by a suplex for another two count. Tatanka with a back breaker for a two count. Tatanka with a rear chin lock and a knee in Yang’s neck. Yang with an elbow but Tatanka with a punch and then he slams Yang’s head into the turnbuckle. Tatanka with an Irish whip and then he charges into the corner, but Yang moves out of the way. Tatanka tries to slam Yang’s head into the turnbuckle, but Yang blocks it and he kicks Tatanka. Yang goes up to the second turnbuckle for a missile drop kick and he gets a two count. Tatanka with a punch and he tries for a slam, but Yang gets out of the slam attempt and Yang with a couple of kicks for a two count. Yang with a forearm followed by an Irish whip and a running spin kick. Yang with a cross body from the top for a two count. Yang slams Tatanka’s head into the turnbuckle and Yang goes up top, but Tatanka crotches Yang. Tatanka with a super belly-to-back suplex but he can only get a two count. Tatanka with another cover, but he can only get a two count. As time runs down he hits a clothesline for a two count. Tatanka with a slam for a two count. Tatanka with an Irish whip, but he charges into a boot. Yang with a moonsault but time runs out.
Winner: Time Limit

After the match, Tatanka clotheslines Yang from behind followed by a flap jack and clothesline that flips Yang. Tatanka with the Samoan Drop.

It is time for the Raw Rebound and we go to commercial.

We are back and Kristal Marshall is in the interview area with her good friend Vickie Guerrero. Kristal mentions what happened two weeks ago and we see footage of Vickie costing Chavo the match and Chavo yelling at Vickie and pushing Vickie down. Kristal asks Vickie how she is holding up. Vickie says that she is not doing well. Nobody knows what she is going through or anything about her. The past few months were about Vickie getting her career going and moving on. People like Chris Benoit have turned their backs on her. What hurts the most is her own nephew turning his back on her and walking out on her. She says that she does not think she can handle it any more. She is emotionally distraught. She cannot sleep and focus. She has lost her faith in humanity. She does not know who she has left. She says that she feels confused. Kristal hugs Vickie.

We see highlights of the earlier Beat the Clock Sprint matches. 

Match Number Six: Ken Kennedy versus Chris Benoit in a Beat the Clock Sprint Match
Kennedy and Benoit lock up and Benoit backs Kennedy into the ropes, but Kennedy with a kick after the break. Kennedy with kicks in the corner followed by a choke with his boot. Kennedy with a hard Irish whip to Benoit for a two count. Kennedy with a forearm and kicks to Benoit. Kennedy with a gourdbuster for a two count. We see Batista watching in the back. Benoit with a chop, but Kennedy with a drop toe hold as he works on the neck. Kennedy with another hard Irish whip to Benoit and he gets another two count. Benoit with an inside cradle and then he gets a back slide for a two count. Kennedy tries for a knee, but Benoit with a rollup for the two count. Benoit tries for the Sharpshooter, but Kennedy is able to avoid the hold. Kennedy with a fireman’s carry slam and then he goes up top for the Kenton, but Benoit gets his knees up. Benoit with seven rolling German suplexes to Kennedy. Benoit goes up top but Kennedy moves out of the way when Benoit goes for the diving headbutt. While the referee checks on Benoit, Kennedy removes the turnbuckle pad. Kennedy tries to Irish whip Benoit into the exposed buckle, but Benoit counters and he puts Kennedy in the Crippler Crossface. Kennedy makes it to the ropes. Kennedy Irish whips Benoit into the exposed turnbuckle and Kennedy gets the three count.
Winner: Ken Kennedy (5:07)

After the match, Ken Kennedy gets on the mic and he says that he is the man who just beat the damn clock and he is soon to be . . . interrupted by Teddy Long. Teddy tells Kennedy not to jump the gun because he is not the number one contender yet. Teddy tells us that next week the Beat the Clock Sprint will continue. Teddy says that there are four more matches, with a chance to beat Kennedy’s time. Competing next week will be Montel Vontavious Porter, Matt Hardy, Fit Finlay, and the Undertaker. We go to credits.

Smackdown Thoughts:

With all of the talking that happens on the other three wrestling shows each week, it was great to see so much wrestling on the show. The five Beat the Clock matches took more than thirty minutes, and then you had the women’s match. The show moved along and did not appear to drag when there was action in the ring. The only time the show dragged was during Bradshaw and Porter’s promos because Bradshaw talked too long. Another sign of a good show is that it was Miz Free, which makes up for the show not having William Regal or Fit Finlay. I thought all of the Beat the Clock matches were good and it makes for a good start to 2007 for the Smackdown brand, unlike the other television shows.

I guess Michael Cole and Bradshaw never watched Raw because they did the ‘Beat the Clock’ gimmick to determine who would be the final man to enter the Elimination Chamber in 2005 on the December 27, 2004 episode or the Beat the Clock. I guess they also forgot about the December 26, 2005 episode of Raw that also featured Beat the Clock for the 2006 Elimination Chamber (and had Chavo Guerrero and Kane involved in the matches). They even have the Beat the Clock footage from these shows on the WWE website.

How could this be a ‘tournament’ when it is the best time that makes it to face Batista? Isn’t it more of a series of matches to determine a challenger for the World Title instead of a tournament?

It is interesting to see that there was a match that went eight minutes when time was of the essence, but most weeks you are lucky to see a match go that long.

I liked the commentary by Bradshaw and Cole after the Kane/Chavo match talking about whether Kane’s time would be good enough and how there could be a fluke to get a quick win. I also liked that both Cole and Bradshaw were wondering why Booker took his time to cover Helms when he knew he had to win in a specific time period.

Why does Bradshaw have to use a double standard? Every time that Sylvan would talk in French, he criticizes him, but he does not say a thing about Maryse speaking French?

I really hope Bradshaw and Cole were not foreshadowing a break up of London and Kendrick during their match when they were talking about whether their match would lead to problems. While the tag team division is treated poorly on Smackdown, London and Kendrick have been great as a team. I also liked it when they were wondering some of the decisions during the matches on the show because they would take too much time and could cause someone not to beat the posted time.

I really liked the London/Kendrick match. When Paul London came out, I thought it would be funny if Brian Kendrick was his opponent. Then Kendrick came out to face London. As the match started, I suggested that we might end up seeing a rehash of the first Matt Hardy/Jeff Hardy pay per view match that featured a lot of mat wrestling instead of the high flying maneuvers that people expected. That was basically the match that we got for the first half. There were a few high spots in the second half of the match. However, with the expectation of a mat based match, I figured that many in the crowd would not appreciate the match. I thought it was a great wrestling match. I hope this match does not start a breakup of the team.

I was not surprised that the TNA chants during the London/Kendrick were drowned out if they were audible at all on the broadcast.

If MVP’s burns are that bad more than two weeks after the Inferno Match, should Teddy Long really consider letting him wrestle? I think it would have been interesting to see Porter announced for a match only to have Teddy Long come out and say that Porter is not medically cleared to wrestle.

I guess Bradshaw was too busy patting himself on the back for criticizing Teddy Long to go for the cheap comedy by having him pat Porter on the back to show his support.

I think it would have been funny to have Bradshaw comment on the fact that his comments to Teddy Long were shorter than Kane’s time so he deserves to advance in the Beat the Clock Sprint.

King Booker continues to be the best character on Smackdown, but he has made it even better with the ‘royal pinkie’ when he poses.

Why wasn’t the Jillian Hall/Ashley Massaro match a Beat the Clock Sprint Match? Why can’t a woman challenge for the World Title?

While I am not the biggest fan of Bradshaw’s commentary, he had a great comment prior to the Tatanka/Yang match when he said that we had this match 300 years ago when the Cowboys faced the Indians.

Was Melina at Smackdown this week or did they bring in someone who would scream loudly throughout the show to make us think that Melina’s two or three shrieks a night was not that bad?

If King Booker is going to try to get his title back from Batista, when he had the best time in the Beat the Clock Sprint, shouldn’t he have been at ringside for the Tatanka/Yang and Kennedy/Benoit matches to try to distract the referee and allow him to get the title match at the Royal Rumble.

It was interesting to see that they edited out a spot from the main event because there was an earlier spot into the exposed turnbuckle that resulted in a two count just before the eventual finish of the match.

If Ken Kennedy does not have the best time, I would assume that we will see Ken Kennedy facing Chris Benoit.

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